Judge, 1910-04-23 · page 10 of 24
Judge — April 23, 1910 — page 10: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This Judge magazine page contains several satirical pieces mocking early 1900s social conventions: **"Wifey"** jokes about marital discord—specifically a husband staying out late, presented as worse than typical unhappiness. **"Humor of the Stone Age"** satirizes predictable, tired jokes by having cavemen tell ancient gags (mother-in-law jokes, Irish policemen stereotypes, Jerusalem fire sales) that audiences find exhaustingly old. **"An Objection to Clubs"** critiques social clubs—the speaker resents that while his wife and mother belong to "uplifting" organizations helping the poor or women's rights, he experiences clubs differently (implied: as places of violence or exclusion). **Additional short pieces** mock: women suffragettes (for constitutional ignorance), rising inflation affecting working people, and the gap between legislators and constituents. The bottom illustration shows people of different ages waiting outside a club, suggesting varying social participation across life stages.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
WIFEY, (With apologies 10 the author and the reader.) THERE is gladness in her gladness when her husband treats her right, There is sadness in her sadness if from him she gets a slight; But the gladness of her gladness And the sadness of her sadness Aren't in it with her madness—when the brute stays out all night. HUMOR OF THE STONE AGE. A BUNCH of merry souls had gathered in the den of Ab, the caveman. A tender young pterodactyl had been slain that day, and, as they dined off the tooth- some mess, sly jests went round. Flint, the hammer man, told one on his mother- in-law; Jock, the arrow-hewer, said that all the Cave City policemen were Irish; Hitt, the corn-pounder, told of the fire sale in Jerusalem, and every fresh quip brought out roars of laughter. Then Nip, the hunter, who had been vig- orously sucking a bone, looked up with a merry twinkle in his eye. “IT know whose grandmother will be dead to-morrow,’’ he an- nounced, ** Whose?" cried the bunch, spring- ing from the floor of the cavern. “* Everybody’s,"’ said Nip. ‘‘It's the opening of the Cliff Dwellers’ Base- ball Association season Then everybody groaned. The joke was so everlastingly old. AN OBJECTION TO CLUBS. By CHARLES C. JONES. Around our house "most ev'ry one Has got a club they like, you know; , [guess there's lots of good they've done, ‘Cause I've heard my folks sayin’ so. Kate sez that hers uplifts th’ poor, Or helps ‘em lift theirselves; an’ ma Reads books ‘bout girls, or how to cure Young boys from smokin’ like their pa. Course I ain't kickin’ none ‘cause they Like clubs that help a feller be Uplifted-like or makes him gay; But 'tain’t that kind they use on me! r IS the early fish that gets the fish- erman’s worm. JUDGE DANGEROUS EXPLOSIVE. Mr. Honey Mooner (at lanch)—** Pet- tie, there’s something the matter with this it’s hardly lukewarm."* Mrs, Honey Mooner (apologetically) “Yes, dear, I know; but, you see, I couldn't risk having it any warmer. The box was labeled ‘Gunpowder Tea’ !"” A MATTER OF AGE Gentleman (gallantly) —"* Madam, if you continue so ardent a suffragette you will be President in another year."” Suffragette (angrily) —"* Sir!” And it wasn’t until some time after- ward, when reading the Constitution of the United States, that he discovered the cause of her anger. NCE in a while the sticking of one’s nose in another's business brings about a public revelation. © | REVISED. By DON CAMERON SHAFER. H, RUBBY-DUB-DUB! Three men at the club, And who do you suppose they be? The butcher, the baker, The candlestick maker— And prices go up a degree. Oh, grubby-grub-grub! For each patient dub, If he would have three meals a day. The clerk and the scholar Must spend every dollar— Everything goes up but their pay. ACCOUNTED FOR. \ THE spring a young man’s fancy tly turns to thoughts of love.”” “It's no wonder that there is such a large sale of spring tonics.”” “ye T'S a wise legislator that knows his own constituents, but it's a much wiser con- stituency that knows its own legislator. WAITING AT THE CLUB DOOR—DIFFERENT AGES.