Judge, 1910-04-16 · page 7 of 16
Judge — April 16, 1910 — page 7: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This is a tall-tale comic strip mocking the exaggerated adventure stories common in popular fiction. "Captain Fibb" recounts an implausible rescue: stranded in South Africa, he uses a giant diamond as a headlight to warn a ship away from rocks, then sells it to the Chinese Empress for tobacco. The satire targets two things: first, the absurd implausibility of such narratives (a diamond the size of a fist appearing conveniently in the wilderness); second, the gullible audiences who consume them uncritically. The other page content includes gentle social humor—opera-goers pretending cultural sophistication while mishearing titles, a joke about dachshunds' short legs, and complaints about mounted police discomfort—typical of Judge's light satirical approach to American social pretensions and daily life.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
JUDGE THE YARNS OF CAPTAIN FIBB. 1. “* Blow me, mates! ye can believe it or not, 2, —— I keeps me eye on it, and 3. —— Then as I plugs on the but it’s true. ' I left the ship at Cape of Good gits closer and closer, till bimeby it wild beasts begins to pester me, Hope, and wuz a-footin’ it through South Africy. Dlazes full in me face! Sizzle me but 1 uses the diamond fer a Night comes and I sees nary a house to pat in me own ile if it wuzn't a dia- headlight and they thinks I'm at; but along about midnight I sees a light shin- mond as big as me two fists a-stick- an autymobile and scatters right in’ in the distance. —— in’ right outer the rocks !—— and left. —— 4, — Arter consider’ ble hardship, 5. ——and holds me diamond up 6. —— They gits that ship righted jist in time to Tcomes to a rocky coast, and I'll at arm’s length and flashes it on the save them from shipwreck. And then I hails be jiggered if there wazn't our ship ship. Whew! then there wuz a them, and they sends a boat ashore and takes me headin’ right on the rocks! In a commotion. They thinks it's a aboard. What did I do with that diamond? minnit I sizes up the ter'ble situa lighthouse, and immejiately sees Why, I sold it to the Empress of China fer eight- tion — their awful danger !—— cen million plugs of terbaccy !"° WHY NOT A PROGRAM CENSOK? BLISSFUL IGNORANCE. PRoGram. «ePHE OPERA was just darling, Mrs, Smith," declared Shoes by ween sos. Gotafit. Mrs. James Orphington Rex, as she felt of her diamond Scenery by on seeee ‘ Daub & Blob. earrings to make sure they were at the proper angle. Piano by.. : Hammer & Co. “I know I would have enjoyed it,”” answered Mrs. Smith. Mee Ba “You would have had fits over it, Mrs. Smith. Calf was Ice Water by.. Last, Spring & Co. so cute and they all sung in Lati: Disinfectant by an ‘i .... The Blow-blow Co. A sneeze saved a snicker, after which Mrs. Smith asked, “* What opera did you hear, Mrs, Rex?’” Senator Jones. . wie cesses. Leeding Mann, “I have it written down on a card here in my bag. I Mile. Pitpat....... hee eeee . Bryght Starr. wanted to get it just right. You see, the name was on the cur- PROGRAM CONTINUED. tain and I copied from that. It was ‘ Asbestos.’ '" Candy in coin boxes on seats by ...+ Little & Little. Opera Glasses on seats, chains by...... Shorter & $ Rustic Seat in first act by. . .... Cohen & Co, Cigarettes used by villaini y S. Daraloroviski. Revolver used by hero in tl y.. Roarfield Arms Co. John Jinks........ vecssses Stage Carpenter. George Junk. . rar avigw . Asst. Stage Carpenter. Sam Sapp......... asiees, < Ieium Manipulator. Sarah Suds... 00.0000... 11) Chief Serubwoman, Wellington Wupp....... Chief Usher. G. Grunt. , LLL. Usher, Aisle A, A. Grunt... Lasivavesesseceess Usher, AlsleB; APPEARANCES ARE DECEITFUL. “OH, HANG THIS FUNNY BIRD SEED, ANYWAY!" THE DACHSHUND is a funny sight, As on his way he calmly jogs. HARD WORK ‘Thoauh short bia legs, bis pants ere:quite «« A. MOUNTED policeman must have a hard time.” As long as those of other dogs. “* How 80?"" Boastiess honesty is the best policy. “It can’t be an easy matter to sleep on horseback."” comicbooks.com