Judge — March 19, 1910 — page 15: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Great Western Champagne HALF THE COST OF IMPORTED Of the Six Ameri- can Champagnes Exhibited, Great Western was the Only One Awarded the Gold Medal at Paris Exposition, mr Grocer or Dealer 1m Supply You Pleasant Valley Wine Co. ims, N. Y. Champagne House SPORTS AT THE Z00-—-HIGH DIVING London Punch, — that I'm not a kitchen stove, but that his feet propped up on the stove. I BAD LE: ETC, VARICOSE VEIN. — nish hot air quite often? (shfor. tt at the Insist on “‘Biatz” S. ments on me. JUDG } DOES YOUR WIFE MAKE YOU SMOKE IN THE KITCHEN? By MILTON NX. SIMON. EAR Jupce—I have read with con- siderable satisfaction and untold joys of anticipation the announcement that you would shortly publish an issue of your killgrief sheet to be known as the Smokers’ Number. I would earnestly beg of you to blow yourself and for that number increase the size of the issue twofold, for which I will gladly rob my wife's purse of two dimes. Why, Mister Jupce, you don’t know what that Smokers’ Number may mean to me! From now on I shall discard all calendars and calculate time ‘before ookies, Ginger Cakes and Jumbles—are so much better made with Karo. Karo is a pure and wholesome syrup that blends naturally with other foods. It_ makes the best sweetening for sauces, pies and puddings. Kero and after the Smokers’ Number of the | marvel at my enthusiasm? Well, then, the reason—I have been married—to my dearly beloved wife— for four years. We have agreed on every question sooner or later—often later—except the smoke question, and on that we are as far apart as the par- lor and the kitchen. I argued—(that was four years ago; I stopped shortly after my wife began) —that a man is only a man when he smokes, and it is a waste of good to- bacco unless some one either sees him smoke or smells his smoke; that if vis- itors are shown into the parlor and they smell smoke there, then they know that there is a man, a real, live man, at the head of the household. She (my dearly beloved wife) argued that if, as I said, a man is only a man when he smokes, and since a kitchen stove is only a kitchen stove when it smokes, therefore a man is a kitchen stove; and since the place for a kitchen stove when it smokes is in the kitchen, therefore the place for a man when he | smokes is in the kitchen. And she's stuck to that for four years—and I smoke in the kitchen. I've tried in vain to prove to her woman springs the most durn fool argu- : She says, ‘Don't you i smoke? Don’t you have to take your lid off and put it on? Don’t you fur- Don’t you But what's boil over once in a whil the use? Now, I’m an experienced smoker. I've smoked cigars that cost all the way from nine for fifteen to five cents straight. I do not say this to boast, yet with some pride. The question is— “I oranges are more appetizing after a few of Abbott's Bitters have been added. “GOODERHAM IS PRONOUNCED GOODRUM!!! In answering advertisernents please mention JUDGE. —AND THIS IS MY RIVAL!" Shall all this extravagance go to waste when it might be used to show that/ there’s aman in the house? I say, No! Perhaps your Smokers’ Number will have some effect upon her (my dearly beloved wife). If you haven’t got it in already, for heaven's sake stop the presses and put it in that the parlor’s the place for a respectable man to smoke, and that no wife with any sense (don’t’ forget the sense part of i she’s strong about her intellect) would think of permitting her husband to} smoke any other place than the parlor. I wonder, Mister Jupce, if it wouldn’t be a good idea to publish this. It might help some poor devil who is now spend- ing his evenings with his chair leaning back against the kitchen cabinet and ain't asking much pay for it, but, what- ever it is, please send the money to the address below; for if you send it to my house that’s the last i'll ever see of it. [""Also, don’t think I'm henpecked— remember I picked my wife—and the difference between a pick and a peck isn’t enough to quarrel about. | Also, send money by P. O. order. ‘The banks don’t know me, but my wife's | brother's sister-in-law is an aunt toa stepfather who has a friend working in| the P.O. Yours smokingly, | ANDREW Prirr. Noreing could disgust a burglar who | leaves town between twosuns more |sons of Erin. | CORN SYRUP a it wil Candy end your name on a post card" Tar’ Raro’ Cook Book Eat it on Griddle Cakes Hot Biscuit Wafftes CORN PRODUCTS REFINING CO. P.O. Bor 161, Dept. F.F., New York Dottied ip Dond—seven years old. If your dealer will Snywbere’ Bast ot tho Teocky Moustalna, a follow: fag price: ei 4 quarts—Bottled in Bond—$5.00 Money back if not pleased. ‘The James E. Pepper Distilling Company Rector Bidg.,Chicago, Frankfort Pite,Lexiagton, Ey, BOOK LOVERS By W. B. King. | Copyright, 1909, by Leslie-Judge Co, Hundreds of books about, but they must needs look together at one. We've all been there. And that’s why this sentimental sepia print, 12x16, and costing 50 cents, will find a place in your book-cormer. Other prints from 2Sc to $1.00. New Print Circular for 2 cents. Comp! Catalogue for 10 Cents. Ask any Canadian.”’| than to be brought back between two, LESLIEJUDGE COMPANY 225 Fifth Avenue New York It will be appreciated. comicbooks.com