Judge, 1910-02-26 · page 11 of 16
Judge — February 26, 1910 — page 11: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This is primarily an **almanac page** for March 1910, not a political cartoon. The main content is humorous commentary on the calendar itself, satirizing commercial almanac publishers' deceptive practices. The central joke: Judge presents March's dates as a commercial product, complete with warranty disclaimers and false advertising. It mocks publishers who manipulated calendars (adding extra hours, adjusting sunrise/sunset times) to appear to offer better value while actually deceiving consumers about actual time. The small illustration shows a couple in period dress, accompanying a "Notice" about watching for a specific woman—a social scene joke unrelated to the calendar satire. **For modern readers:** This reflects early-1900s consumer skepticism about misleading product marketing and false scientific claims by manufacturers. The satire specifically targets calendar and almanac fraud, which was apparently common enough to warrant mockery in a major magazine.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
MAXIM. Short pockets breed ling faces. OMETH March, with wind and rain, Smashing on the window pane. Little zephyrs here and there Lifting roofs high in the air. Blowing hats from A to 7 Raising thunder on the s Filling all the air with dust, On their mad boreal bust. Now and then we hear the hum Of the blizzards frolicsome, As about the land they tack, Giving early spring a whack; Filling all the ways with snow, Setting plumbers’ hearts aglow. NOTES ON THE ABOVE DATES. These dates are guaranteed hole-proof, and are warranted not to crock or fade if treated with proper care. The quality of the eighteenth of March will depend entirely upon the way you use the seventeenth, and we hereby warn our consumers that an extravagant use of the latter will materially affect the efficiency of the former. Owing to the shortage of dates in the month of Februar;, we have tried to even matters up with our patrons this month by giving them thirty-one days in the current package. Any shortness in the parcel discovered up- ‘on opening should be reported at once to the manager. Little touches of spring will be found in some of the above dates, but our consumers are requested to re- member that we have no option in the matter, being required by the regula- tions of the pure-date law to include such in our ingredients. Although the laws of many States would justify us in making all these days only eight hours in length, we have adhered to our customary habit of giving full measure, and each one Fant Pg ey UDGE'S ALMANAC Raising thunder with the car Of the trolleys near and far. Warcb 1910 Sun Mon TueWed Thu Pri Sat 22+ 12345 6 7 8 910 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 3 YE DATES OF YE MONTH. MAXIM. The carly bird catches the snuffles. Now and then a robin’s peep Tells us soinewhere life is ‘* cheep.”” And the rose gives us the laugh At nine dollars and a half, For it knows that Easter’s moon Will be shining very soon. And amid this wintry scene Cometh March the Seventeen. Marvel month this month of March, Filling up our souls with starch; Now a lion, now a lamb, Now a blat, and now a slam— How it fills the soul with cheer That it comes but once a year! SUGGESTIONS FOR THE MONTH. The prudent man will not discard his ear-tabs or place his snow-shovel in cold storage until after the twenty-ninth. boxes. i will be found to contain twenty-four hours of sixty \ | minutes’ length. Owing to the high cost of gas and electricity used for illuminating purposes, we have arranged to have the sun rise a little earlier and set a little later on each of the dates herewith presented, so that our consumers will really save on their lighting bills three or four times the total cost of this calendar. The compilers of this calendar will not be respon- sible for the quality of the days enumerated, beyond guaranteeing that as they come along they will be the best the market affords. A hot-water bag makes an agreeable companion on dates with cold nights, especially for timid persons with a tendency to cold feet. NOTICE. “ Say, will you please watch for the gitl in the mauve silk voile with Chantilly lace, and the black Panne hat and give her a seat ext to mine?’’ This is the proper season to begin building your strawberry These can be made of stout pine shavings carefully in- terwoven, and should be large enough, if you intend to sell your strawberriee at twenty-five centsa box, to hold at least five small and three good-sized berries. A very effective method of pre- venting your window-blinds from bang- ing and keeping you awake on windy nights is to remove them carefully from their hinges and lay them flat on either the inner or outer surface ina well-protected corner of your cellar. Farmers who prefer to do their early spring plowing with a beaver hat on their heads should be careful to fasten the same securely under the chin with an elastic band or a stout piece of twine, lest they blow off and the silken nap be ruffled by contact with the rude earth, If you have not yet paid your last April’s rent, this is an excellent time either to do so or to get your furniture out of the house before the landlord appears with papers designed to show his very great attachment to you and yours. In promenading the city streets on the seventeenth of March, you will find a fresh green scarf tied in a sail- or’s knot quite de rigueur, and far more satisfactory in the long run than the possibly more effective but less appropriate orange fou! and that your wife gave you at Christmas. Mo pianos are harmless things if people would only let them alone. comicbooks.com