Judge — February 12, 1910 — page 15: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

NOTES FOR A VALENTINE ARTICLE. ND out who Valentine was. be your valentine if you'll be mine."’ Valentine, Bishop of Rome— was persecuted by Claudius—flung into} gaol—gaoler’s daughter blind—made her see—any connection with Cupid the blind boy? Work in a joke on this— old man being discovered beaten with clubs and then beheaded. Doesn't seem | to fit in with a gift. Seems as if there was no joke in thi Another Valentine so a prelate—choked to death witha fishbone—venerated in Italy and Ger- many as a healer of fits. Could say something about people getting valen- tines that gave them fits. Perhaps bet- ter not—in doubtful taste. Seems one could write a serious article—stick in photos of Rome—celebrations of St. Valentine's Day—might try heavy monthly —still got to find something funny first. Seems to be connected with French Galantin. Might write story of first valentine—or do a parody of Ham- let—always goes down rather well— Ophelia says, ‘‘Good-morrow, 'tis St. Valentine’s Day, All in the morn be- time, and Ia maid at your window, to be your valentine."” Old custom to put names of girls and young men in hat and draw in couples—gave presents to each other—young men diamond brooch, girls a tie—something might be made of this discrepancy. No! Sure to hurt girl's feelings—might not give me any- thing at all. Good # Some original verses. ‘The rose is red, the violet blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you.”’ Might parody this. Might do funny alphabet: T is for Taft, And great is his girth. I guess he laft From the day of his birth. Seems to limp—not Taft—verse, of Might sell this to postcard I can’t think of anything new. Stop! Why Perhaps the course. makers, To heck with valentine! not send this as it is? editor will think it’s funny. Mothers will ind Mrs. Winslow's Seething Syrup the beat remedy for their children. 25¢ a bot AFRICA YE, baby bunting, Daddy’s gone a-hunting, To get some Afric beasts and birds And sell a hundred million words! Hotel Statler BUFFALO, Y. “THE COMPL. HOTEL” Appeals to the man traveling with his family because— Every room has its own private bath. Rates more reasonable than usually charged at houses of its class. Nothing better anywhere at any price. 300 RooMS 300 BATHS ice water in all rooms." — $1.50 per Day Up Best restaurant and cafe service in the city. PIMPLES DISAPPEAR OR PREPARATION pets po seri’ iscorered rules to regard 12 Dd care we the cause, and aga tare a er 3 fe dan These. raie Gn receipt of $1.00. ‘Box 112, Address F. O: Boz , ern} MARE Your § JWITH PEN x WNaj > er 7 | JUDGE has reopened his Art Amateu department along fair and aquare li professional is not. tion will be given careful consideration. That is Jupce’s decision—and it stands. KETCHES HERE'S YOUR CHANCE, MR. AMATEUR! ir Contest. He intends conducting the ines—an amateur is an amateur and a Every contribu- | Three prizes will be awarded each week for the best original joke illustrated by an original drawing. The first prize is $5, the second is $3, and the third prize is $2. All drawings failing to win rant their publication, will be paid for at the rate of One Dollar each. all drawings to Art Editor Jupce, 225 Fifth Avenue, New York. drawings are marked ‘* For Amateur Con prizes, yet of sufficient merit to war- Address Be sure that test." A THEATRICAL INCIDENT. By HORACE D JT WAS quite evident to everybody in| the audience that night at the Quee- hawkett Opera House that there was trouble in the company. The perform- ance did not seem to run along as smoothly as it might have been expected to do, considering that this was the three hundred and fifty-seventh night of the famous comic opera, The team play between the prima donna with the cracked voice and the comedian was) especially bad, and in the love scenes | between them there seemed to be more | of the atmosphere of the prize ring than of the hymeneal. Twice the lady had been observed to choke her wooer in her embraces that had rather been designed by the author to indicate her fondness for him than to show a mortal antip- athy, and the whole company behaved in a highly nervous manner. It was known to the few that this was to be | the comedian’s last performance of hi role, the jealousy of the prima donna, who was also the manager's wife, hav- ing reached such an acute stage the day before that the funny man had been given notice to quit. Thus things ran along until the prima donna’s great effort was about due. The scene had been worked up to the point where her | most popular aria was about to be ren- dered, when the comedian advanced sud- denly to the footlights and, shading his eyes with his right hand, scanned the audience anxiously. “Is there a doctor in the house?"’ he asked, with a slight quaver in his voice. “Yes, I am a doctor,” said a physi- cian, rising in his place. “All right,” said the comedian, with adeep sigh of relief, stepping back to his appointed spot. ‘‘If that is the case, let the performance goon. If anybody is prostrated by Madam Screecherini’s singing, help is at hand."” | | Every lover of a good cocktail should insist that Abbott's Bitters be used tn makiog It; toms ‘getting the very ODD GASTIT. And, strange to say, even with such assurances, the lady referred to flounced angrily off the stage and refused to go on with the performance. A VALENTINE, LIVES of grafters all remind us We can make our coin likewise, And, absconding, leave behind us Everything—save paradise. THE FUTURE. OBBY SHAFTO'S gone to sea, Doves of peace are flying free; He'll come back to harry thee, Poor old Malefactor! RIPE, RICH AND MELLOW UNIQUE IN PURITY. OF HIGHEST STANDARD IN QUALITY. GUARANTEED BY ITS PROPRIETORS UNDER THE NATIONAL PURE FOOD LAW AN ABSOLUTELY PURE RYE WHISKEY | HUNTER BALTIMORE RYE Sold at all Aret-ctass cafes and by Wal LANAMAN & SUS, Baith |GET MARRIED—virriicmena of rarreare: able people from all sections, rich, poor, old, youn. Protestanta, Catholics, ete-. malted, fed. sete OMB. Fy GUNRELS, Toledo, Ohio. JUDGE'S S LIBRARY February Number | 10c.—ALL NEWSDEALERS—1 0c. MILWAUKEE Ask for it at the Olub, Insist on ‘ “Blatz" ou VAL. BLATZ BREWING CO., MILWAUKEE, In answering atvertisements please mention JUDGE. It will be appreciated. comicbooks.com