Judge — February 5, 1910 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

& Y —— by hop rireee ALK about the fellow who rocks the boat! Why, he’s only an amateur compared with the person who rocks the cradle! I've been rocked so much that my internal organs must aa) |P-\ look like a piece of mince pic uf k © Sometimes I get awfully seasick }/¢.9\ from the motion, but I don’t dare an \ / @/ cry about it or they'd wiggle the \ thing so much harder. Guess they TI u/ want me to be a sailor when I grow up. All I've got to do is to grunt just a little bit, and it seems to be a signal for the cra:le to start. I frequently think my father mistakes the cradle for a dice box. Ir 1a beautiful pair of booties—lavender, with beryl stripes—hand-pain The spinster who brought them t mother that I must wear them out. I wonder w have of wearing them out while lying on my back in a crib all day. Had a severe attack of the colic yesterday Must be painter's colic from those booties, Everybody that came in had a sure-cure remedy. I heard one suggest, ‘* Why don’t 00 lay it on its tumm: This suggestion was immediately carried out, and I had to stare at a horrid carpet design for twenty utes, The way my mother jounced me up and down made me think I was in swimming on the bounding billows. About two o'clock in the morning father had to get up and m make me some fennel tea. I giggled to myself to see him staggering about in his p: ery piece of furniture in the house seemed to be anxious to bump against his toes. Ir nking last Monday at two-twenty a.m, When I grow up I'm going to give my father a talking to about that little affair— if ' remember it. It’s strange what idiotic things they give me to play with when I cry. Father's suspenders, grandpa’s snuff-box, bright red labels from tomato cans, a mirror, a rubber boot. Those are a few of the things that were on the menu to- Lucky I'm not a baby ostrich, or there’d be a few things missing around this house. When I get big Iam going to ask the tion of Cruelty to Children to prevent fathers from singing lullabies to their babies. My father has been singing enough ur night look ill in comparison, It . for I just lie awake wondering what he's singing about. And he’s got a voice that sounds like a hoarse auto-horn, and when he gets to ‘* Hushaby, hushaby !"" you imagine somebody is dropping a wet muff into the mud. Mother is worried to death because my ea ing to stand out from my head, and every day she ties them ed my first 9 ‘ociety for Preven- rot to me to m: nam: doesn’t make me go to s rs are commenc- JUDGE THE GRUMBLINGS OF A BABY back with a silk handkerchief. I saw her shudder the other day when Miss Prim said I had ears just like my grandpa, for you know my grand- pa's ears stand out like Marconi wireless sta- tions b Well, thing seem a lit: Za tle too comfortable and quiet around the house. I guess 1°11 Wot 's d'n cry. Here goes! ne 2" ** Markoczynski.* Low d’ ye spell it? Vy you esk me? Didn't you ever vent to school ?"" FAMILY TROUBLES (Little Waldo reports LAST seek our baby had a spazzum, And I've had scarlet rash, And we've got hives, too—pa, he has 'em; And our dog's name is Dash, And he has forty million fleas That keep him busy seratchin’. Ma says we haven't any cash Nor credit nor idee "Cause the things that ain't catchin’, A SUPERFLUITY OFFLE was ** buttoning up’ his wife. He had done nobly until he got down to the waist band. Then, contort self as he would, the two remaining links obstinately refused to connect. With a final yank, Boffle gasped, ‘ It’s no use, Mollie, there's not enough material by half an inch." ot enough?” laughed Mollie. ‘‘Seems to me it’s a willful waist."’—, im- ib Mesve. THOSE SMALL FLATS. Woggs—"* You haven't built the kitchen addition to your flat yet, Boggs—' law's pipe. No; we are waiting to measure my father-in- FD. Abram = 819 moons “Great Heavens! doesn't Newlywed look henpecked already ?"* “« Henpecked nothing ! He 's got chicken-pox."” comicbooks.co iy