Judge — January 22, 1910 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

CLASSIFIED ADVERTISING. HELP WANTED- MALE. Brau Young men of pleasing ap- pearance and correct habits can secure positions as substitute escorts, with good chance for advancement to **steadies"’ if diligent and attentiv Must b+ good-lookers, swell dresser: and free snenders, Money no obje tion. Apply in person to the Young ies’ Catchem Club, Sweet Sixteen Street. . BUNDLE CARRIER—Strong, husky man of undaunted courage to accompany lady to bargain sales. Must have had football experience and be a good tackler. Bring shin and nose guards. Mrs. B. Shoppington, Bargain Avenue. HUSBANDS—Hundreds of good JUDGE openings for the right parties; no previous experience necessary. Must be industrious, reliable, and a good hand writing checks. Give references as to character and earning capacity in first letter. Woman's Home-mak- ing Company, Bird’s Nest Suburb. LOVER—Man who can make love, money, and a good excuse. Must be strong and willing. Compliments, chocolates, and violets expected daily. Dolly Dimple, No. 1, Cozy Corner. HELP WANTED—FEMALE. WIFE—A lady who is young, beautiful, of good character and kind disposition can secure a permanent position as wife and housekeeper to a gentleman of moderate good looks who doesn't snore. She will be well treated and given her board and clothes. Must be a good cook and very refined—as the gentleman is in the refining business. A. Twospot, 23 Tight Street. COMBINATION GIRL—For pri- vate boarding house. Must wait on table, love seven boarders, and milk the cow. No shirkers need apply. — , THE MUSIC OF THE SKY. mate and always on the job. Colored ladies need not apply. Mr. Horrible Henpeck, Squabble Avenue. SWEETHEART — A neat little, sweet little, cute little girlie who can love me at sight—also when I’m out of sight. Must be a good make- up artist and not afraid of a soul kiss. Previous experience forgiven. Do not delay—this may not appear again. Tommy Spooner, 18 Court Street. MISCELLANEOUS. WANTED—Man with four hun- dred dollars who is looking for a per- manent investment. William Gold- bricker, Surething Street. STOLEN—Gentleman’s heart. Just as good as new. Liberal reward for its return and no questions asked. James Hardhit, 4672 Lovesick Ave. WANTED—Expert chicken picker. One who can pick the fat ones off the roost in the dark of the moon. Sam Sly, Poultry Dealer, Niggertown. LOST—Somewhere between thirty and forty—lady’s good looks. Any information leading to their recovery Give references and previous experi- ence. Home Comfort House, 30 Cot AN AFFINITY — By a man who is mar- But ried, but sorry. Must be a true soul- NUNES THINGS NOT ALWAYS WHAT THEY SEEM. ‘* Where are you going with those cannon balls, Jock ?"’ “* Dese ain't cannon balls, and I'll tell you night here dis is de last time I ever goes to de drug-store to get a prescription filled for Mr. Elephant, headache or n0 headache !"" THOSE GIRLS AGAIN. tage Street. ried pred a Have not the slightest show ; The neatest girls, The sweetest girls, ‘The girls who have the dough will be generously rewarded. Mrs. Sadie Frump, corner Down and Out streets, WANTED — Birthday _ present. Jewelry preferred. No objection to an engagement ring. Mamie My- mie, Blank’s Department Store. FOUND—The North Pole. Owner can have same by calling at this office, describing property, and paying for this notice. Judge Building. LEGAL LORE. ONTINUANCE—A woman's talk. Trial—A test of litigants’ pocketbooks. Suspended Sentence—Waiting for her father’s answe Demurrer—A man’s reply to his wife’s request for more money. Reversed and Remanded—An accepted suitor whom her father does not approve. Decree of Divorce—A correction of one mistake for the opportunity to make another. A SELF-EVIDENT TRUTH. Mack—* Do fish make brains?” Denby—* Can't say; but I know they make liars.’” comicbooks.com