Judge, 1910-01-08 · page 6 of 16
Judge — January 8, 1910 — page 6: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page from Judge (a 19th-century American satirical magazine) contains several unrelated humorous pieces: **Main cartoon**: "The Choice of a Wife" depicts a woman married to an elderly man, joking that she "landed" him because he's a "collector of antiques"—the satire being that the husband himself *is* the antique. **Mr. Milkweed Entertains**: A man attempts to recite sentimental poetry at a party but has a severe speech impediment (lisping/stuttering), making "roaming" become "woaming" and "kissing" become "kithing." The humor is physical/embarrassing. **Other brief jokes**: Include puns about a bank's "liquidation" (Snowbank) and references to Cook and Peary's polar expeditions (then-current news), plus a masquerade joke where "a gentleman" is the ultimate disguise for someone unrecognizable. The page represents typical Judge humor: mild social satire, physical comedy, and wordplay aimed at middle-class readers.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
THE CHOICE OF A WIFE ** How do you suppose she ever landed that stunning husband ?"" “ Why—er—be's a collector of antiques."* MR. MILKWEED ENTERTAINS. SLIPPERY. ME: MILKWEED was going toa party, and as there would Howell—' Neither Cook nor Peary seem to have a very be some pretty girls there, he thought it would be nice to _ firm hold on the North Pole.’” speak a sentimental little piece. This was his selection: Powell— No; 1 guess the blamed thing is greased."” Sometime when you're slowly roaming, Somewhere in the summer gloaming, F THE OLD NIGHT “WATCH. Something makes a lisping bissing— By VICTOR A. HERMANN. Some one somebody is kissing. ¥ THE .old night watch of long ago, ‘ With broad brim on his brow, The way he delivered it was highly di- The one grandfather used to know verting. This is how it sounded: I'd like to see him now. ‘Thometime when you're thlowly woaming, A long black coat that ended where Thomewhere in the thummer gul-gul- gloaming, Thomething makth a lithping hithing- - Thome one thomebody ith kithing. His bony shanks began, A lengthy stick, a lantern square, And then the quaint old man. Grandpa has told so oft of him SURE—THEY ALL DO. It seems that I can see «LYBARD the latest?" 3 His bony shanks and wide hat brim uM Beneath our window tree, “No. What? ** Bank's gone into liquidation.”” a x Just as he'd halt there long ago “That so? What bank?"” mee To cry the passing time, “ Snowbank.’? Or flash his lantern to and fro . In search of midnight crime. A TERRIBLE SHOCK. He} pote, plghe wotshs one most that knew JUDGE'S FAVORITE. jim in their dec: Hi a | pie Ai have sworn off drinking, adie saxer. He'd have no show with“ brass and blue ”— 2 IN “THE SILVER STAR.” The “‘ finest on parade.’’ “Yes, Stimpson, old boy, I've given ‘Yon fit the house with pensar : up the flowing bow! forever. Had a terri- wise od pareatmea sata ble shock the other night.” i (6 JJAS Jimmie Ruffhouse at the masquer- “* Really?”” ‘With all that's bright and gay. W ade?” asked Willoughby. “Yep. Why, when I got home from Jinks’s dinner I found “Yes,” replied Addleton. ‘He had the most perfect my mother-in-law waiting in the hall for me.”* disguise I ever saw. Nobody recognized him.” “Well, what of it? That isn’t so awful bad.”” What did he go as?”” asked Willoughby. “Ah, but, my dear boy, there were two of "em!”” “A gentleman,” said Addleton.