Judge — January 1, 1910 — page 5: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

HEAR the sinners swearing off Vowing how they’re going to doff Sweet reform is in the air. Cutting vices everywhere SECOND WEEK. Hear the sinners weakening! Hear their sorry plaint! How the crowd is murmuring, “ Hard to be a saint!"’ "Tis not easy to be good— . JUDGE IN THE MONTH OF JAN. + A Modern Pilgrim's Progress. By JOHN KENDRICK BANGS. FIRST WEEK. Hear the joyous crew Naughty. things they do! "Tis a splendid plan, In the month of Jan! “THE + Mighty few who can In this surging multitude In the month of Jan! THIRD WEEK. Hear the slipping sinners slide! Hear em climbing back! Best will weaken when they're tried; Vows are getting slack. Taking on their former ways, Now beneath the ban— These are very trying days In the month of Jan! STRAY NEW YEAR THOUGHTS. HE PROOF of the resolution is the keeping thereof. _ Many resolutions are not unlike coid-storage eggs. A man swears off, and then swears awful because he did. New Year’s is an off day with many of us. There is nothing new under the sun, not excepting New Year reso- lutions. AN ADVERTISEMENT. ¢ Will the or partic PERSONAL : Wi spar or cari who day evening during my absence, and stole Five + Hundred Dollars. kindly call at my office, Room 18, Cutler Building, and inform me as to how the act was accomplished without waking my wife. Suitable compensation will be made upon their ‘appearance. J. N. SWAPPING STORIES. Madge—’ Did you tell him you FOURTH WEEK. Business is resumed again All along the line! All these once converted men Now are going fine. There has been an awful thaw In the saintly clan— Seems to be a sort of law In the month of Jan! When a st’ And in A GOOD RESOLUTION. Rooster—' Going to swear off anything on the first of the year?” Turk—" You bet! I'm going to swear off ever getting fat again, after what I 've seen recently."" POWER BEHIND THE THROWN." THE MAGICAL TELEPHONE. By Me LANDBURGH WILSON. the solemn hour of midnight *"PWAS Ton December thirty-first, ill,.small voice called Smithers guarded tones conversed. It referred to little suppers And to gay times with the boys; Mentioned smoking, also nightcaps, And some other little joys. It suggested some amendment Of the way of living high. Smithers promised most abjectly Till it rang off with “* Good-by.”” Then the conversation ended. He soliloquized with ire, “* Wonder if it was my conscience Or my liver on the wire?” TWENTY-FIVE YEARS OF IT. VEY do people have silver wed dings, pa?” “Just to show to the world what their powers of endurance have been.”” THE LAST STRAW. N ATTENDANT at a Kansas in- stitute for the deaf and dumb was undergoing a pointless rapid-fire inquisition at the hands of a female visitor. “But how do you summon these | didn't believe him when he told you that you were the first girl he’d ever loved 2” . Marjorie—* No; but I came right back at him with another whopper. Said he was the first man who had ever kissed me."” poor mutes to church?”’ she asked finally, with what was meant to be a pitying glance at the inmates near by. “By ringing the dumb-bells, madam,” retorted the exas- perated attendant. Ni souwtat My AN ADVENTURE IN BUGVILLE, comicbooks.com