Judge, 1909-12-18 · page 7 of 16
Judge — December 18, 1909 — page 7: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains several satirical pieces typical of early 20th-century Judge magazine humor. **"The Yarns of Captain Fibb"** is a tall-tale comic strip mocking exaggerated adventure narratives. Captain Fibb boasts of reaching the moon—surpassing polar explorers Cook and Peary—through increasingly absurd mishaps (subway dynamite, meteorite collision, planetary chase). The satire targets both fantastical exploration claims and the braggadocio common in contemporary adventure literature. The remaining vignettes offer social commentary: "Later On" depicts a man narrowly escaping traffic only to be struck by a subway train—darkly humorous commentary on modern urban dangers. Other pieces satirize marriage dynamics, romantic "games," and legal/financial arrangements between spouses. The final fragment references "suffragette" politics, suggesting contemporary debates over women's rights. Overall, the page reflects Judge's focus on mocking contemporary social anxieties: transportation dangers, marital discord, and emerging feminist movements.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
wvuage THE YARNS OF CAPTAIN FIBB. 1. “Huh! Cook and Peary ain't got nothin’ 2. —— Well, when I wuz a-comi 3. —— Then I went a-kitin’ and sizzlin’ fon me! Why, I wuz the only livin’ bein’ wot there wuz a big meteorite a-shootin’ through through the vast empyrean at a million miles ever reached the moon ! Ithappened this way: space and I lands right on top of it and hangs a minnit straight towards the moon ! —— wuz wal along the avenue, careless like, on fer dear life. — when all of a sudden a subway blast of dyna- mite went off under me and shot me about five miles up in the air.— | 4. —— Putty soon I lands with a dull, sick- 5. —— Well, he chases me all over the 6. —— And it would ’a’ gone purty tough | erfing thud, and arter | pulls meself together dingbusted (planet, and putty soon I finds with me if it hadn't been fer deacon Jones's | I wanders ‘around to do a bit of explorin’, meself flyin’ through space ag’in, ‘The fierce haystack. I flew back to the earth like a shot | when all of a sudden an awful-lookin’ specter cuss kicked me off ! — and landed on somethin’ soft, and when I looks | appears above the horizon, Me hearties, around me I sees that I’m on neighbor Jones’s | it eux the man in the moon !—— farm.” LATER ON. A READER'S REMARKS. HE AUTO headed toward him, going at tremendous speed; REATHES there a man with soul so dead The ta: ib behind him was upon his heels, we read; He never to himself has said, A motor-cycle neared him, by a careless rider sped, “If I couldn't beat this story I've read, And an airship just above him was descending on his head, I'd go to the pump and soak my head!’" What did he do? He acted just as I would do or you! Grabbed off a manhole cover and just dropped his body through. But was he safe, you ask me? Was he ever seen again? No; the story says he landed just before a subway train! 1. 8. WATERHOUSE. THE MAN'S VERSION. ing husband endeavoring to get his wife incased in her di- rectoire in time for the theater. YE PLAYFUL MAID. GHE PLAYED with me in childhood, and she played with me in youth. I much regret to say it, but it is the simple truth, That, though I’ve grown to manhood with my heart upon her set, This maid of whom I sing my song-is “‘ playing with me" yet! Man proposes, the heir disposes—ably assisted by the lawyers. A PROFESSIONAL PROPOSAL, The banker-—"'I re- spectfully request that you deposit your love with me to bear interest daily until death.”” DIVIDED SPOILS. ‘AN HAS but little here below, And he will have less yet, If he has to share his LIKE ALL THE REST. “GEE, BILL! MUST BE SOME SWELL franchise “They are very much in love with each other. I suppose BEES AROUND HERE FROM THE With a bloomin’ suf- they ‘Il finish up by getting married ?” LOOKS OF THIS FUSSY HIVE!" fragette. “Yes; that nt be their finish, | guess." - } comicbooks.com