Judge — November 27, 1909 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

viape. THE YARNS OF CAPTAIN FIBB. 1. “Yes, I broke a New Year's resolution just oncet, and it wuz thisway: "I'wason New Year's eve, and I swore never touch another drop, and I wuz jist a-signin’ the pledge when fl pecs) A> [sie De - 2. —— All ofa suddent I looks up and there Js the ghost of old Pete Stuyve- beckons me with his finger and I fol- 3, - Well, sir, knock me cold if he didn’t take meall around old New Amsterdam and show me all the sights! ‘Then bimeby we comes toan ‘old tavern and he makes me go in—wouldn’t take no fer an answer, —— TS HY TREND TAT TT Dust oF newyoRn yf) SOUT EA Bed I fit | |) Se lers him outer the house, — Wave “rwu22e 00 FrLLoW'(iu) £ a DON'T You EVER COME HOME LIK WHAT ACA a FS 4, — And shiver me deadlights! 1 intrajooces. me to the spirits of all the nobby swells of the town, ‘Have a stoup of likker,’ says they, and considerin’ the company, you coulda’t blame me fer not refusin’. —— ANDSCAPE gardening and landscape architecture have re- | ceived a great amount of attention in tl the very great betterment of the a’ greets the eye of observing beholders. landscape art and see what can be done with it or for it. When a New Jersey farmer decides to raise the money he needs to send his son to college by sub-letting the old cow pasture to the gentleman who manufactures the inimi- table Dentaglow, who im- mediately proceeds to put up atwenty-by-nine board fence in the middle of it, decorated with a portraitof a lady who has never used any other, with the result that her amile looks like a row of Edi- son electric footlights, why is it necessary that this dain- ty creature should have one blue eye and one pink eye, both crossed; wear acoiffure that for sheer brilliance of color suggests the lurid glow of Vesuvius in eruption, and sport a pearl necklace that causes one to suspect the do- nor has robbed a hen roost rather than a jeweler’s shop? Why is it that in an adjacent cabbage patch those public benefactors who have invent- ed Aunt Jerusha’s Camem- bert for Unnecessary Ro- dents should erect a heroic painting on another board fence of that talented ac- Mrs, Bronx wife since their So I takes jist one—jist one, mind y jist one—and pretty ‘soon I inter a deep sleep.—— LANDSCAPE ART. he past few years, to age prospect that Now, let us take up A MATTER OF DOUBT. ‘They say that Mr. Jones has never spoken a harsh word to his marr But wimmin is queer folks. When 1 ind meself in me own bed and me wife a-tellin’ me T came home loaded—and she never would believe that yarn !"* tress, Miss Flossy Goldilocks, standing with a box of Aunt Jeru- sha’s Camembert in her hand, with her smi carcass of a defunct horse made up tu look like a rat? And when the famous Mr. Jigsaw, whose cherubic countenance gazes at us 1 toe resting upon the from the roofs of an endless sequence of barns along the line of the railway, peeping coyly out at us from behind a box of his popular Smoke- less Face Powder, spreads his facial lineaments all over the country, why does he not make it sweetly reasonable by taking one of Raphael's cherubs for his model, em- blematic of the purity of his powder, and giving us a real work of art, instead of using that portrait of some un- known, retired burglar, which does scant justice to his own attractive person- ality? These are said to be bad days for artists because paintings are a luxury, and people are dispensing with luxuries these times. Why not, then, kill two birds with one stone by giving employ- ment to # large number of competent brushes, and at the same time, by mears of examples strewn along our railway lines, inculcate with good pictures a love of art in the hearts of the public? ‘AINT heart prevents a lot of mischief. Mr, Harlem—** Yes; but it's a matter of caution, not of kindness.” comicbooks.com