Judge, 1909-11-27 · page 5 of 16
Judge — November 27, 1909 — page 5: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains three distinct pieces of early 20th-century satire: **"Let Her Dream On"** (top): Four fashionable women discuss Miss Scribbler, a female writer, implying she harbors literary ambitions beyond her actual abilities—satirizing both women writers and society's dismissal of them. **"The Vampire of the Kitchen"** (center): A poem mocking a incompetent cook who ruins meals. The accompanying illustration shows a woman terrorizing a household, suggesting domestic incompetence. This reflects period anxieties about servant quality and women's domestic roles. **"Professional Proposals"** (bottom): Brief jokes where a Doctor, Lawyer, and Politician each make puns on their professional relationships, employing dated wordplay humor typical of the era. **"Brave Man"** (right): A cartoon showing a man presenting his new story, likely satirizing aspiring writers or publishers. The page represents Judge's typical blend of gender-focused humor and professional satire.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
LET HER DREAM ON. “Isn't that the pretty Miss Scribbler? I''m told she ’s quite literary.” “Who said so?” “She did, herself."* “Ewould be a pity to wake her up.”* THE VAMPIRE OF THE KITCHEN. FOOL there was and she made her prayer (Even as you and I!) To a scowl and a brogue and some red- dish hair (We called her the cook with the angry glare), But the fool, she called her a treasure rare. (Even as you and I!) Oh, the smiles we waste and the wiles we waste, And the presents we freely buy, To give to the woman who couldn't cook (And now we know that she never could cook) And never would even try. The fool, she gave a dinner grand, Even as you and I!) b was tough and the peas were canned (It wasn’t the least what the hostess planned), But a cook will have the upper hand. (Even as you and I!) Oh, the food she spoiled and the tea she boiled, ‘And the horrible cake and pie ‘That were made by the woman who couldn’t cook ! And soon they found she never could cook, And never would even try. The fool grew tired of such awful stuff (Even as you and 1!) And she scolded the cook, like a silly muff! (She might have known she'd leave in a huff!) And then the fool was sorry enough. (Even as you and I!) (For where for another might she look?) So she kept the woman who couldn't cook And who wouldn't even try. PROFESSIONAL PROPOSALS. T™ Doctor—‘* May I attend you in health as in sick- ness 2" The Lawyer—* May I argue all your cases for you) none with. you? BRAVE MAN! The Politician—“'I sincerely desire your personal in- Gorilla Sia ta We Nese 08 pours TEP dorsement of my campaign for your hand.” vee Gerald—"""The man who accepted it.”