Judge — November 20, 1909 — page 15: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

i THE GOOSE AND THE ! PHILOSOPHER. | NCE upon a time there was a fa-| ft) mous Philosopher, who owned a Goose which laid each day a miles from New | large oval egg worth three cents York, there is a staff in the nearest egg market. The Goose lecturer whose hobby was a great pet of the Philosopher's, is the necessity of a and he was perfectly happy and con- practicing physician tented with his possession, until he sud- possessing the abili- denly made the discovery that the food ty to sleep at odd eaten by the Goose was costing him four minutes, The gentle- | cents daily. Here was a constant drain man in question, be | on his resources which in the course of it added, is as prosy | time threatened to bankrupt him, and in the enunciation uf the unfortunate Philosopher nearly wor- this theme as he is, ried himself into an untimely crematory insistent upon ; in vainly trying to think of some way wherefore he is af- to remedy the leak. fectionately known| In hisdespair, he sought an old Farmer as ‘‘Cap-Naps."* and begged his advice in the matter. Just before the re- ‘Turn the Goose out to grass," said ions, he was for the hun-| the Farmer. dredth time enlarging on the pet topic ‘*I have no grass plot,” replied the atthe close of a long ninety minutes’ Philosopher. ducourse, something like tl “Then cut off the Goose's head and “And let me again impress upon you, the feed bills along with it," advised yeang gentlemen, the prime necessity the Farmer. ANSWERING PREACHING WITH PRACTICE. } T A CERTAIN well- known medical col-| lege, not a thousand | The Comfort of the Telephone The Bell System has become the nervous system of the business and social world, The Belt telephone has a special value because it is everywhere—because at sight you feel a familiar acquaintance with a Bell instrument or a Bell sign. There are over 4,000,000 Bell stations You cannot use them all, but from time to time you have a real vital need for one. Which one you cannot foretell. The comfort it affords the women in the homes of America cannot be measured. Do you measure it in considering the value of your Bell telephone ? The mother of children can find out where they are at any particular hour of the day—and how they are—even though There are billion calls over the tele- phones of the Bell System every year. — “OH, YOU Now that Iam of training yourselves to that invaluable Mbit of sleeping here, there and every- “Te, whenever an unexpected fifteen minutes offers itself to recuperate your often exhausted energie Bear, with Your elbow to Sour offic how, the come anywher ride ahead and noo at first, you It may ny time; but seize the Vihortunity whenever you feel you are bored, perha round you- y be intery: + with what is going on | your time is d."" hindmost bench, kable snores! when you being unprofitably empl And then, from the fame two loud, un, 1eK JAMS PRICE their visits carry them to the country vil~ lage or the city hundreds of miles away. The husband on a trip talks from his hotel room to his wife at home. There is a world of comfort in the knowledge that you can talk together at a moment’s notice, wherever you may be. Many of these are comforting calls from afar, calls whose actual money value can no more be reckoned than the value of the happiness which one man has and another man cannot buy. The very existence of the Bell telephone service has its value to you, even at moments when you are not using it. COWARD!" d you dare not approac nsible advi aid the Philoso- pher, ‘and it is a wonder I didn’t think of it myself long ago. t day the Philosopher dined on ¢, and a few hours later the Feedman received a note running, “Don't send me any more goose fodd I have already 1 the Goose eaten her." MORAL. nough in its ad Philosophy is all well way, but for hitting the nail on the hy in practical, every-day questions, the sledgehammer of experience beats the gavel of theory every time. | witn s crouey. | The Bell Long Distance service offers, ready recruited for your call, the largest body of active business men intheworld. If you havea telephone, avail yourself of its long distance possibilities. The highest type of public service can be achieved only by one policy, one system, universal service. The American Telephone and Telegraph Company And Associated Companies Every Bell Telephone Is the Center of the System Far Christmas Presents 7e 8 loved one 9: rem, pay one Mfthon. enter Write for Xmas Cal dogwe Tedeye Beautiful Art Calendars Prices 25 cents to $2.00 | Bac neenane ns holiday gifts can be made of these artistic, well-emounted Judge Art Calendars, “for lovers and others.” Circular will be sent on request. the titles Gad Morning, Goud Night, Holding Hands, Awaiting You Reply, Yours Truly, ete. and the Judye Ci of seven pages of Flayy’s best sellers. Some of endar is composed LESLIE-JUDGE COMPANY, 225 Fifth Avenue, New York comicbooks.com