Judge, 1909-11-13 · page 7 of 16
Judge — November 13, 1909 — page 7: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page features **"The Cynic's Examination Papers for Everybody: The Married Man"**—a satirical mock-exam mocking domestic married life through absurdist questions about wives, mothers-in-law, household expenses, and marital conflicts. The humor targets the frustrations of married men: nagging wives, intrusive relatives, expensive household management, and the tension between home obligations and social club life. The cartoons reinforce this theme: the top illustration shows a cramped urban apartment building (mocking tight living quarters), while the bottom depicts two railroad workers arguing over a propeller, captioned about bringing a "pick down"—likely satirizing labor disputes or incompetent workers. The "North Poles" cartoon references contemporary Arctic exploration expeditions (possibly Peary's), joking that such explorations have become so common that even barber shops are disappearing—absurdist social commentary on modern progress's disruptive effects. Overall, the page targets married male anxieties and early-20th-century social change through cynical humor.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
THE CYNIC’S EXAMINATION PAPERS FOR EVERYBODY. “THE MARRIED MAN."? RITE a strenuously humor- ous poem on domestic felic- ity or a critical article on moving day. 2. Give at least five definite and convincing rea- sons for: (1) Working late; (2) missing the train; (3) the nomadic instincts of hair. 3. What is a mother-ii law? Frame anoriginal joke on the same (ten extra marks will be given for this). How may this affliction be combated? 4. How many relatives should a wife have? In the supposititious case of attempting to strike them off your visiting list, what methods would you adopt ? 5. Give a suitable phrase of congratulation: (1) On a new hat; (2) on the arrival of twins; (3) on the outcome of a bargain rush; (4) on the selection of a Christmas box of smokes. 6. State what you know of the suffragette movement: (1) In the terms used at home; (2) in the terms used at the club. 7. Where does Santa Claus live? What is the function of the stork? Why is it dark? Why did Noah take two of everything into the ark? Explain these lucidly so that the merest babe may understand, giving logical reasons for your replies. 8. Describe in technical terms ‘‘a dream of a dress" and ‘‘a duck of a hat.’” 9. What in your opinion is the ratio between a week's house- hold expenses and a “* little cards "’ at the club? 10, What is your critical verdict upon L. J. Libbey, Hall Caine, Marie Corelli and Charles Jar-vice? May your refusal to read their works be urged as a reason for livorce? 11, What is a soul affinity? Where must one draw the line? May one be introduced into the family circle? What is the bound- ary limit of the family circle? 12, Define the difference between “ difference,” ‘a heated discussion’ and ‘a breach of the peac: State your preference for the flatiron or the rolling pin as the prin- cipal agent toward peace in the household. 13. Why do you expect a five-course dinner with wine to be served at home for an outlay of fifty cents? State reasons and give first-hand views upon the purchasing value of fifty cents as gleaned from a dinner at Martin's. 14. Write anything else you can think of, making full use of this opportunity to speak your mind freely. 2. W. SNEDDON, few words,"’ ‘‘a trifling : ahs Yj ( THANKS TO COOK AND PEARY. “These blamed North Poles are getting so common a fellow can't hardly find a barber shop any more.” SINGING THE SAME SONG, “Tt must be near six o’clock. Oi’m gittin’ thot wake Oi can’t bring me pick down!”