Judge — October 30, 1909 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE TROUBLE WITH YOU. HE TROUBLE with you, T dear people, is that you do not want to be moral, Being at a safe dis- tance, we can say this to you. But what defense can you make?) The books you read. the ones which have large and continued sales and equally large and continued borrowings—are stories whose plots sometimes are the ‘eternal triangle,” and often merely two angles of the triangle. The songs you applaud ve- hemently and which grace th piano in your modest home ar songs which celebrate the lapses of men and women from marital JUDGE'S FAVORITE. fidelity. ‘1 love my wife, but, oh, you kid from the casement of the ealoonkeeper, ELST EERGUSON, IN SUCHE A LITTLE QUEES WHY NOT 4 as apt to carol sweetly from the open windows of the home of the deacon as The moving pictures which are encored in the five-cent theaters are the ones showing some f s But still we think is Queen of F THE NORTH POLE CORNER. ITTLE Fred Cook his ship for sook For the old North Pole to try. He planted a tube and h out, “Hey, Rube! Was ever a boy sma AUTOMOBILES NOT But little Bob Peary was hoy ering . Me there in a tric later, but had a spectator al on ice, YE SCHOOLBOY'S PLAINT. ANNED all summer by the sun, Now I find, when school's " Matters little what I do, Tam tanned by t Shakespeare says the world’s a stage. He'd have been a wiser sage If he'd put it truthfully M's a tannery! * How fast a Accondin YM Nagy A SOUTHERN BEACH “ Tohn, you "ve heen drinki vily again” You 'sh wr Mariar, shed *e , Hoff jusht ash light ash a feather AUTOMOBILES »{ NOT, tvonine man being adivvle among the women, showing a wife hiding her ardent admirer JANGEROUS boards, about eighty nots an hour" husband cones home unexpectedly, or a husband being caught kissing the cook red-lipped. When we were twenty-on iid not be. Naughtin 8 was too naughty to b for pi tured or sung. Maybe woman suffrage will cure this evil it is promised it will cure about everything else. Otherwise we may be pardoned for viewing with alarm the outlook for the next score of years. We didn’t say anything about the play patronize mostly. We cannot, for they conv moral lesson—in an immoral wa: Rut the trouble is not with the books nor the songs nor the pictures nor the plays. It is with WILMUR tN. THE LANGUAGE OF FLOURS. (The delicate sentiments embadied in a sack of flour when sent to your sweetheart.) EATHER MEDAL ntually you will | take me, Why not now Konaparte — Vm highest quality. You make no mii when you take me. Dust—You get the best shen you get ct Process—Make your home happy all! Pride of the Prairie—Absolutely the best you can find anywhere. PRANK Mt, WILLIAMS