Judge — October 30, 1909 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

DESPITE THE POLAR CONTROVERSY. EN—and many of them—there are, men who have themselves nevee been outside the temperate zone, who are quite sure that | Cook could not possibly, under the cir- cumstances, have discovered the North i Pole. { On the other hand, there is an equal ] number (estimated, as the census reports are not yet available) who are quite sure that Peary did not turn the trick. | In the meantime, according to the best ientific instruments, supplemented by pus the composite reports so far received from avi all parties, partisans and papers, the North Pole is exactly the same distance from New York as it was, is more barren of inhabitants than the Hackensack meadows, is much colder than a stock broker calling for margins, possesses a brighter glare than a window full of Barrios diamonds and is of ex- . OF AN OBNOXIOUS NATURE actly the same latitude and longitude, if any, as we thought it was. This “Your honor, | object to Mr. Lobster bei nthe jury. Itisa Wt can we ask? 7 well-known fact that Lobster never agrees with anybody.”? hat more can we ask? EES ONES it fr POINTS FOR THE AUTOMOBILE SHOW. ing, | A MODERN DARIUS GREEN. ON’T be a crank. rae With the Laughter Not at the Expense of the ** Country Dunce.” If you want to spark, stay at home, hid ; __ (Apolowien to J.T. Trowbriten.) If it is too hot inside, yo out and get air-cooled. Le N ASPIRING genius was M. Bleriot, Be subtle. It is very easy for a tire to sce a point. ren Son of a Frenchman, as all must know, Be eh ly fi d bh Hisew Jat th Who, whether ’twere calm or winds might blow, esrabieats seus proper only sor aniadvertiser to:DlOw:his.own: aides Was bound by way of the clouds to go horn. Across the Channel, which rolled below; brace And tried it once, for bold was he And anxious to ride triumphantly— The first to fly o’er the choppy sea, But while o'er the briny wave a-wing, Alas for the flyer! the blasted thing, As though on a different sailing bent, Dropped down to the watery element. They found him smoking his cigarette, Floating there With a nonchalant air, Which plainly said, * 1 will get there yet!” One July dawn, i | With brain and brawn tf , t Turned where the sea's mista scarce were drawn = | | By the ri ng sun to the arching blu Away he flew; From the Gaulic coasts were his pinions gone, And down on the Britis i With a good fat prize and a deathless name. "ROUND THE HORN, t that Pan. af th canal through, it ‘IL save this long trip © Yes, if them fellers eve INTERESTING FACTS ABOUT THE POLE. za\'T IS the habit of the North Poleans F toshovel the snow off their front or side walks, and, curiously enough, in spite of the enormous an- nual crop, nobody there has ever seri- ously thought of going into the ice business. There are no tariff laws at the Pole, and any one traveling red not hesitate to carry a lug- van full of mechanically ground wood pulp, manganiferous iron refined bauxite containing not more than sixty-four per cen- tum of alumina, on the score of duties. Under the Old Apple Tree," a song popular in lized world, is thought no more of in ‘er ** Die Gotterdammerung "" or ** Peleas and Melisa REVS HyR RIPLEY, Owing to the peculiar behavior of the sun in th polar man who stays out all night is considered to his family. Now since he has coined five thousand straight, And fickle Fame has crowned his pate, Madam, averse to flights before, E’en thinks it fit he should fly some mo And the upper air, thus man’s dominion, Is likely to pulsate with paddle and pinion. the m And thi is the mor- nlargeyour become tooslow, And you laudably ore long for a lofti- er show, ts of Pole than Wh spread. your ppers and let the ci vicinity, the e abandoned LITTLE fresh- air girl, on her return to New York the past sum- The peach crop of the polar region has never been known to fail, and mosquitoes are never found upon any of its beaches. The simplicity of the arctic home is shown by the fact that the mer, refused to e ; " drink milk, as her Ply known decorations in those latitudes is a rather monotonous, custom had been, but very durable, frie Upon being urged Despite the fact that there are no prohibition laws at the Pole, todrink it, she are yet no saloons, clubs, speak-easies or temperance soci I used to lik WEEHOUT A DOUBT. ubbins—* Do you know where Lean find alot but I know what it Flannel and duck trousers, light underclothing and straw hats it, Stubbins—"* Why not try around the North Pole? is now—-it’s chewed at the Pole, and the ‘That's a very likely place.” grass." haute monde have yet to hear of the sheath gown, comichooks.