Judge — October 23, 1909 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

uage THE PRESIDENT'S TOUR. Here is hoping that his journey Will bring pleasure and not pain. From Atlantic to Pacific, Through the South, the East and Weat. May the sunshine and the shadow Lightly o'er his pathway rest. He’s a big, good-natured fellow, With a fine and jolly soul- May his laughter fill the heavens Like the thunders when they roll. A STUMPER. Teacher—"* Where dovs the Missi Reddy Backrow—" In Louisiana Teacher—* No, no! Think again. it rises. Reddy Backrow—" In Louisiana.”” Teacher—* What makes you so sure of that? Reddy Backrow—" How could they have those awful floods down there if it didn’t 2” A WOMAN'S WEAKNESS. ippi River rise?” You know where JUDGES EAVOREL Examining magistrate Jam, you persistently deny that you committed this act, though the description of the culprit fits you exactly—beautiful face and figure, extremely youthful appearance, most attrac! The defendant —** Your honor, | confess all was I!" MAUD LAMBERT, “OTHE MIDNIGHT SONS.” Jack sat down y And Jill s ANSWERS TO CORRESPONDENTS. THE FAMILIAS— Your case is a hard one, but not mon. If your son is so much larger than you are, it will, of course, be impossible for you to have your clothes cut down for him. About the can suggest is that you see if you : them eut up for him, We have no copy of the laws relating » at hand, but w per tyrannis! Arizona town as ed a ** Six centipede n her from tim ent ring, a point: rtu. We do not th es in a suit for 4, two hundred and thirty miles Th pounds of caram of buggy rides and four dollars’ worth of soda water. are likely to prove a dead loss. rer—You ask, ‘Ia there any really effective way to ghbors’ chickens out of one’s garden?" There is. the chickens by the neck and serve them for Sunday's breakfast, broiled in butter. They will not return again, Amateur Farmer—You have our sympathy you. You ask us what we do with our potato bugs, and we are forced to confess to you that we have none. We buy our potato , and only at first-class restaurants, where there are no ep Grab y, but we cannot help A Syuirret Day draws ne OM gobbler will carve me."* “Don't \ Mawnan | SR explaining the mei utte rd if any pupil could repeat them, fot a bit, A WRONG IMPRESSION. “TL suppose that is a company of exclu sive sea-bottom swells 7” “Nope. ‘Those are or sardines.”” ary mustard REDIVIVUS. LL HAIL the frosty autumn! You can scent her from afar, For her garments all are redolent Of camphor balls and tar. SMART BOY AGAIN. jing of the fateful words, red by John Wilkes Booth, a teacl ie sem: rr inan youthful desert product, with positive as- sand a tarantula!”* ‘TOUGH BIRD. you feel rather nervous as ‘Thanksgiving ‘The knife has not been made that WORTH TALKING ABOUT. “ REAT thing, thi ** Nothing—noth: overy of the "— ing at all! Why, Idiscovered the pocket in my wife's skirt once!” Head librarian—** Here! trying to do?” Lat (in the midst of —" Shure, "twas a merry whin she told me to look wanted, NOT HIS F Manager—"* Well, Mr. Brown, vacation. Hut you didn't pick up did you Clerk glad to see you ha h while you were in the “a Ww" QUITE A JOKE. Stop where you are! What are you a heap of cards in front of the card inex) joke thot the loidy at the desk was playin’, over in this domed cab'net fur the book Oi th, thur’s nothin’ here but a lot of cards!" DIPLOMATIC, OM does your baby resemble relative with the most money.’’