Judge — September 11, 1909 — page 3: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

A LESSON WORTH LEARNING. HE CHILDREN OF A NATION ARE ITS GREATEST Asser.” PROSPERITY ‘LL GIT YOU! (Apologies to James Whitcomb Riley.) they was a Jimmycrat ‘at allus voted straight, led fer Billy Bryan, an’ proclaimed 'at he was Fg it. He squealed about the tariff an’ he yawpeda lot o' stuff, An’ he did a lot 0° votin’, but he didn’t vote enough; An’ Taft he got elected, an’ the feller, Bloomin’ Bob! W’en things begun a-boomin’ the feller got a job! An’ his pocket-book is swellin’ till it's like t’ have the gout An’ Pros-per-i-ty ‘Il git YOU ef y’ don’t look out! An’ oncet they was a grocer man, an’ he was awful pore, Altho’ he hed a lot 0° stuff a-sp’ilin’ round the store, Fer folks a-shoppin’ went rigght on, an’ never come t’ buy, Becuz they never heerd o’ him, an’ wasn't goin’ t’ try; An’ then, one day, the grocer man he 8, ‘* I'm gittin’ wise, Them other fellers gits along becuz they advertise!"" An’ now y 'd oughter see the biz, an’ hear the feller shout— An’ Pros-per-i-ty "Il git YOU ef y’ don’t look out ! An’ oncet they was a preacher man ‘at run a gospel mill, He run it like his grandpop did (an’ would be runnin’ st Il), He preached like old Methusaler, an’ liked t’ growl an’ croak, Till ull the men was weary, an’ the treasury was broke en, one day he woke right up, an’ dropped his lazy pple as they is, an’ started in t’ work, ! he 's goin’ e, I guess, an’ knows what he ’s about— An’ Pros-per-i-ty "Il git YOU ef y’ don’t look out! An’ oncet an actress lady said she couldn’t make a hit, She didn’t wear no clothes at all egscept a little bit. lost her dimonts every day an’ married twicet a week, An’ all the people had t’ laugh, an’ said she was a freak; An’ then she cried, she did, an’ said, ‘* Now fer a solid fact I'm goin’ t’ be de 'm goin’ t’ learn t’ act!" An’ now the peop! in, an’ jest t’ hear he An’ Pros-per-i-ty ‘Il git YOU ef y’ don’t look out! says (what talked t’ Whitcomb Rile), It ain't no use o° howlin’, er pourin’ out the bile, Er singin’ hallelujer, er talkin’ politics, Er growlin’ at the tariff, er a-shootin’ out the bricks; An’ Orphant Annie knows a lot, an’ says y'd better twig, An’ little Orphant Anni An’ Pros-per-i-ty ‘Il git YOU ef y’ don’t look out! CHARLES IRVIN JUNKIN. ITH the summer hotel proprictors the giddy season is like finding money, because so many of his patrons keep throw- ing it away. NOTE FROM THE BASSWOOD BUGLE. OMEBODY took the rope off the bell in the fire-engine house to use for a clothes-line, and now, when there is a fire, the constable has to climb up into the tower and ring the bell with a hammer. Somebody took the ham- mer the other day and, when Hank Purdy’s corncrib ketched fire, the constable had to hurry down to Hilliker’s store for to borry a hammer. Hilliker had lent his hammer to Dea- con Renfrew, who lives four mile out in the country, and by the time the constable had got there and hunted around in the barn for the hammer and got back to the en; house, the angry elements had done their worst and Hank's corncrib was a mass of smol- dering ruins. LITERARY NOTES. PEARE is perhaps the gre critics now question the ver: Elinor Glyn’ classic will not be ex as a text-book in the theolog Henceforth A, Conan Doyle is to devo to stories of the detective type. Aldrich plays gently on the heart-strings, but John Kendrick Bangs, st writer who never lived. city of Haron Munchausen, nsively used next year cal seminaries, his attention exclusively MRS. CAUDLE AT THE POLE. eto pet h ” the datk twas afraid to come hon comicbooks.com