Judge — August 28, 1909 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

ies ‘Daownen!) uape. FIBB. OF CAPTAIN ea [tS & 1. “ Bilgewater Bill wuz the meanest cuss I ever knowed. Oncet he stole a chaw of terbaccer from me and shipped to Indy, and I swore by the pink whiskers on the gold tooth of me grand- 2, —— Well, Lremembers me solemn oath, and it kinder floors me fer a minnit, but jist then I sees a Hindoo fakir’s shop. 1 gits an idee and goes in. —— ger wuz sittin’ astraddle ont of a curious-lookin® jug, like he wus Bil en with a grouch, so 1 puts me case before him.— mother that I'd git it back, so I follows him. But one day I picks up a newspaper and reads that Bill's ship went down with all on board. p> (wntaes aT Re, TARE YER OCG TeR ENE! CONAN LS 5. — It kinder til sees there is no escape abrupt like, and then five bucks, Well, boys, it cost me back, and I les Bill a bit, but when he swore Hd git that terbacee he up and hands it to me he disappears. REFLECTIONS OF UNCLE EZRA. 4. —— Then he makes a few passes over the pot, and bust me butts if ina minnit more t! wuzn't Bill sure enough! And then T makes a stiff kick fer me terbaccer ! —— yam x7 |ONSTABLE BIBBS lost his star, and says ign Ce he expects to get a new one. He is j a ri figgerin’ on gettin’ one from Frohman, as eh] | he has read a good deal about that kind. 4 | Some strubry shortcakes is too blame 4 - short. Last time Deacon Renfrew was down to New York, he got one that wasn’t more’n an inch long. Rev. Hanks had to go without a shave last Sunday mornin’, as Hod Purdy had borrowed his safety razor to plane off the bottom of his henhouse door, which didn’t fit. Our bill poster, Ren Hask- ing, stuck a big poster on the side of Hilliker’s store, adver- sin’ Chiclets. Hilliker would- n't let him do it without he promised him two passes. Hil- liker said he always wanted to see that show, but never had a chanat before. Deacon Renfrew ordered a crayon portrait of his first wife from a crayon-portrait concern, and they sent him one which they said was a speakin’ like- ness. Deacon sent it back, sayin’ that he didn’t want that kind, What he wanted was one that would just hang on the wall and say nothin’. There ain't no feller that can knock a show so hard as the feller that goes in on & pass. Since Elihu Stubbs has be- gun to play the B-flat cornet in the band, he has got the artistic temperament so bad that his wife has to take in washin’. At the last hoes race, Dea- Algy Sloper (great j Mus Boardawalk— ‘out to be a bamboo fis! Yes, Alay ing pole some ker)—"* What! con Renfrew entered his old piebald and used two bits on her, He says she is a quarter hoss, and every quarter hoss ought to have at least two bits. Lafe Jones says he don't believe in women's clubs, hit him over the head with one last week. Our constable cari a revolver, but don’t keep it ludded, ax he has always heard that it’s the guns which ain't ludded which does the most damage. Hank Purdy says free silver is dead ixsue all right, The last time he was down to New York he tried to borry a quarter of policeman, but failed. His wife GETTING BACK SOME. You don’t mean to tell me that you ‘ve actually be 1 saw something out in the surf that I thought was yo ‘one had lost.” comicbooks.com