Judge, 1909-08-21 · page 6 of 16
Judge — August 21, 1909 — page 6: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page from Judge (circa 1909) contains several humorous sketches mocking social customs and gender relations: **"Marriage According to Occupation"** presents a punning list where professions determine marriage terminology—coachmen get "hitched," carpenters "joined," sailors "spliced," etc. The joke relies on occupational jargon applied literally to matrimony. **"These Cheerful Liars"** shows men making excuses to avoid domestic responsibilities—one claims work keeps him out Saturday nights; another avoids floorwalking by giving the baby to a patrolman once his wife snores. **"His Malady"** is an ethnic-dialect joke where an Irish woman (Bridget) mangles "pronounced disease" she can't pronounce herself. **"A Hit with the Ladies"** depicts an early automobile scene where a woman enjoys a reckless male driver's "clever stunts." The page's theme: men evading responsibility through deception, while simultaneously mocking working-class speech and celebrating masculine recklessness. The era's casual misogyny and class stereotyping are evident throughout.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
+ CHEERFUL LIARS. 1 suppose up where my is Saturday. Much r stay right here in the (With thanks to Flora Annie Hosbyshell, vide Juncr, June 12th.) H, LUSCIOUS month, thou blossom of the spring! 0 We love thee well, forgetting not thy shad (And were they boneless would be doubly glad) ; And love thy birds, like poesy on wing, And all winged beauties (minus those that sting, Which always make us very, very sad) ; While cherished is the summer girl we had, Who hustled back to work—without a ring. Anon, I prithee, she may be a bride, And shake the memory of that glo: ‘Neath which we lovingly sat side by si Feeling that earth was just a place to spoon, And glad forever that no knot was tied The time I loved that summer girl in June. FARL MARBLE, WHILE NIGHTS ARE WARM. 66 YO YOU have to do much floorwalking these hot nights ?"" asked Henpeck. “No,” whispered Wriggley; ‘a8 soon as my wife begins to snore, I give the baby to the patrolman, and he brings it back when it’s asleep.” HIS MALADY. Bridget—"* An’ did th’ docther say yez had any pronounced dis'ase?” hure an’ he did; but, begorrah, Oi couldn't pronounce A HIT WITH THE LADIES. Miss Orang (archly) lo, darling! m glad to getup MARRIAGE ACCORDING TO OCCUPATION. OMETHING depends on be) what calling a man fol- lows as to the manner of his marrying. For instance: A coachman wants to be hitched. A carpenter joined. A track-layer tied. A veaselman mated. A fisherman hooked on. A brakeman coupled up. A civil engineer chained. A sailor spliced. A cobbler pegged to- gether. A locksmith united in wed-lock. 'F men knew all that women think, they would be twenty ee, * ., times more audacious. JUDGE'S FAVORITE. HDNA CHASE, IN“ PoLLIEs oF 1909,” When now and then you stoop to folly, “The folly we all love to see, You charm that dreadful melancholy “That in our hearts is apt to be. y to keep us merry plation we re And make us all our megrims bury, Is just to go on and amuse! “You know, Jimmie, I just love to drive with you, you can do such clever stunts!"