Judge, 1909-08-21 · page 4 of 16
Judge — August 21, 1909 — page 4: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains several satirical cartoons and text pieces typical of Judge's early 20th-century humor: **"Breezy Beach" Advertisement**: A mock travel advertisement satirizing resort promotions, showing chaotic beach scenes contradicting the "cool place by the sea" marketing claim. **"Windowside Philosophy"**: A domestic joke about a couple's differing views on picnicking—the wife wanting safety, the husband dismissing her concerns. **"A Vision Defined"**: A teacher-student exchange where a child misunderstands "vision" as a magical spell rather than abstract imagination. **"Things Equal to Same Thing"**: A brief logic joke about romantic equality. The page mixes advertisements, domestic humor, and educational satire—typical Judge content targeting middle-class readers through relatable scenarios and wordplay rather than explicit political commentary.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
“uage. sell Mr. Bizz 2. Rachelor—* Bully! Here's a booklet advertising Stin, puse, Just the place for m Iv says, ‘An excel- lent view of the ocean can be had from our spacious piazza.’ Oh, lead me to the seashore, with its girls and refreshing breez Mr, Bizz 7 you advertise in yc Silas Stin y’ be a-standin’ now? chewed his way through the first hundred pages, you can slip quietly away and write the house for a new set of samples. Silence is golden, except when you have the twenty-nine vol- umes of ‘‘ The World's Famous Courtships '’ spread out on the Brus- sels carpet and madam stands hesitating between literature and an extra spring hat. It is then up to you to talk—talk, talk, talk— talk about Marie Antoinette, talk about Nell Gwynn and half- morocco, Cleopatra and two cents a day—talk about Theodosia Burr, gilt tops, Evangeline, red-silk bookmarks, and the Queen of Sheba—but talk, After the sale you can smile. In colored homesteads don't fail to point out that the Flags of All Nations plate has one for the coon. Pending the penning up of the bovine population, agents will do well to adopt the new war color of dull drab, Red neckties, hosiery, bandannas, prospectuses, and suspenders should be studiously avaided, Don't become dis- couraged when the lady of the house slams the front door by the time you get to Ma- dam, I have here the ‘Mirror of Fun, Fash- ion, and’""—— Just remain standing upon the porch in the atti- tude of the statues in “Myths of Ancient Rome."* Her curios about the ‘* Mirror will bring her out again, and you must then hold out for the half-Russia edition. STUART B. STONE A VISION DEFINED. Teacher in the Sunday school (who has been instructing the young idea on the subject of visions)— “Now, children, can any one tell me what a vision is? Ah! Tom- my’s hand isup. Well, Tommy?” Tommy (with a drawly voice)—"* It's asortof a dizzy spell." WINDOWSIDE PHILOSOPHY. Mrs. Johnion—" Dey say Jackson got de ledly concealed a stead of his old trusty ““THOSE ALLURING Bachelor (on arrival) pooklet ?”* rit is, mister. BF epee ~BE SURE ToVisi ISIT ) reezy, THE Coo, | 9 SP CAG” siiitye!: ae ae) J RESORT BOOKLETS.” dee whiz, man! Where ’s that ‘ excellent view of the ocean” Hain't y’ gittin’ a purty good look at th’ ocean from whar THINGS EQUAL TO SAME THING ARE EQUAL TO EACH OTHER. Infully, Count.” eet is always agreed zat ze Freach nobleman Fren “Ah, yes, mademe i ze ideal loafer