Judge — August 14, 1909 — page 15: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

a NNIDII DDE =| “ JOIN JAMESON xk wk * WHISKEY For Sale Everywhere W. A. TAYLOR & CO., Sole Agents, ‘New York [ihe Bese Biter tig [jnderberg ‘foe World's Best Bitters Nothing better for traveler or sta; home. Prevents kness and in- creases health, Sold Keerypohere, 3. LUYTIES BROTHERS, S. Agonts, New York. STRAIGHT FROM THE SHOULDER. “You've been courting me now for a number of years, George,” remarked a girl to a young man, “and 1 want to a little leap-year proposal.”" 1am not ina position to m-marry stammered the youth; pout marriage’ Twas going to ing here and give somebody else a chance." —Phila~ delphia Inquirer, The Truth Can be told about } Great Western Champagne Abe Rantard of ‘Imerioan Wiaee There is nothing to ts produce tion, [tis PureGrape Quet and favor that connouseurs desire. HISTORY AT DISTRICT SCHOOL. The new teacher glanced smilingly over the school, and was delighted to see so many bright young faces among her new charges, says Harper's Weekly. “Now, children,” she said, opening her history book, ‘‘we will run over our| history, so that I may find out what you| know. Willie Perkins, you may tell me why W: shington crossed over the Dela- ‘Ahum—er—why, now—er—ahum,"” began Willie; ‘‘why, becuz” “Because what, dear?” asked the teacher. Becuz he couldn’t go under it,"” said Willie. “Dear me, Willie! What an_an-| swer!”’ ejaculated the teacher. ‘Polly Hicks, you look like a bright little girl. Why did the father of his country cross the Delaware?” “Pleathe, mim," replied Polly, ‘I gueth it wath becuth the Hudthon wath too far away for him to croth that." “Mercy !"" cried the teacher. ‘Really, |you will all have to stay in this after- noon and study your history. I will now test you on arithmetic. Maggie | Wilkins, if 1 were to divide thre nanas among sev. n boys, what! would be the result’ “A riot,” said Mag; like a little drum major. “Possibly,"” said the teacher; ‘“but| that is not what I in. Tommy, you may take the question. Three bananas among three boys—that would be one banana apiece for each boy. Now, three bananas among seventeen boys would be what?” | “Three bananas, mim," answered Tommy. “I know; but three into seventeen — said the teacher. je, speaking up teen boys once and none ove Tommy confidently. It was then that the new teacher re- best remedy for their ¢1 ME, TOO! Imitation may be a nuisance rather than a form of flatte: A writer in the Outlook tells of an in ent in a bank which is as amusing as it is probable. ‘The teller was asked by a woman for a new envelope for her bunk book. It was passed out, and the lady behind, | noting that her own envelope was a trifle dingy, also asked for a fresh one, The Mighty Workers of America The true builders of our civilization and of our national industrial supremacy. No other country in the world boast of such a masterful army of patriotic, intelligent, strong bodied and well paid artisans and craftsmen, No wonder they proudly toast one another in foaming glasses of health-giving Budweiser Every drop of which is alive with the strength of the finest northern barley and the tonic powers of the costliest Saazer hops. We employ 6,000 highly trained men at our model brewery to keep pace with the ever increasing demand for Budweiser, the national drink of America. The Most Popular Beer in the World Bottled Only at the Anheuser-Busch Brewery St. Louls, U.S. A. CORKED or with CROWN CAPS @ BUDWEISER is served at all first class Hotels, Clubs and Cafes throughout the world. The third woman said, ‘‘Me, too,"’ or words to that effect; and so it went down the lin When the teller’s patience and his stock of env threatened to give out, he determi to call a halt. A fastidiously dressed lady appeared at the window, holding out a perf gloved hand, “I should like one, too, pleas she. “One what, madam?’ The lady flushed and comical. ““Why,”’ she stammered, ‘“‘what the other ladies had !"" asked the teller, began to look TOUGH, THIS BEING A DOG. The dog killed a half-dozen sheep. Said he, That is quite natural; 1 am only doing what any dog would do."” The street-car company ran only hi enough cars, Said the director, ‘The | dividends are in the straps; all the lines do that.”” The merchant arranged for a rebate on freight. He suid, ‘That is business; I am only doing what any merchant would do."” ‘The dog was condemned as a public nuisance and shot.—Jndependent. Every lover of a « Abbott's Hitters getting the very bent, If You Haven't Read Nervy Nat’s Adventures you've missed a good share of life’s fun. He insists upon getting into scrapes, Can't help himself. And you're glad he can't, for it’s a pile of fun to watch his maneu- vers. He laughs his way into your affections by his colossal nerve. 85c Postpaid Ilustrations by Leslie- Judge Company James Montgomery Flagg 225 Fifth Ave. New York comicbooks.com