Judge, 1909-07-24 · page 7 of 16
Judge — July 24, 1909 — page 7: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains three separate satirical pieces typical of Judge's humor: **"The Facetious Traveler Returns"** mocks someone returning from American travels who makes tired puns about cities: Pittsburgh "soots," Boston "has bean," Philadelphia doesn't allow sleep because others snore. The joke culminates when he asks his wife about her back, she attacks him (justifiably, the courts rule), playing on the double meaning of "seeing one's back." **"Wonderful Man"** appears to ridicule pompous recitation—a newlywed bride interrupts her husband's dramatic declamation with an unglamorous complaint ("it's doing it"), deflating his pretension. **"Kernels"** is a collection of aphorisms and social observations—witty one-liners about religion, money, parenting, and time-wasting. These reflect Judge's tendency toward sophisticated, philosophical humor alongside broader comedy. The page uses puns, wordplay, and gentle social satire targeting vanity, pretension, and human folly rather than specific political targets.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
WONDERFUL MAN, He (declaiming)—“** Roll on, thou dark bl Week-old bride—"* OW! Edward, it’s doing it. THE FACETIOUS TRAVELER RETURNS. OW DID you like Pittsburgh?” “Tt soots m “Do you think Roston is a great city?” “Tt has bean."" “Did you find Philadelphia the place of sleep they say it is?”” “Not for me; everybody else snored so loud I couldn’t.”” Is Washington a good place to live Capital,’” ** How did you find Chicago’ “Didn't have to; it was there when L arrive ** How were the mountains back of Denver? “ Rocky.” “ How did they treat you in New Orleans?” “All the tim “Well, I'm glad to sec you're back." * How does it look “ How does what look?” “My back; I’ve never seen it.” It was then that the assault took place, but the courts, on hearing the evidence, decided that it was justifiable HORACE DODD GASTIT. Gerald—* Shall I have to ask your father for your hand?”" ieraldine —* No; 1'm a believer in direct primaries."’ There's a lot of dying done ahead of time. Some carnest souls get religion; others merely dyspepsia, A hog oughtn’t to be blamed for being one; but a man ought. Many a bill once loaned shows itself Episcopalian; it keeps lent. When you have money enough to invest in mining stock—buy an CC stepped on have changed history. overcoat, Old age should always be treated with respect—except in spring chickens. ‘There's no way so sure to find out your ignorance as to try to teach a child. How fortunate that there are fewer earthquakes than theories of how they happen! Isn't it a pity that the only folks who know just how to manage chil- dren never have any? IN BIRD LAND. The main trouble with the fellow who kills time is that he kills so “Hi, fellows! come and listen to the illustrated song.”* much that belongs to really busy people. WARWICK JAMS PRICE. comicbooks.com