Judge — July 24, 1909 — page 15: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

rath “Are the tir While Rock. “The World’s Best Table Water.”’ “the hit of 1908, Teautifully bound ant Huck, Flatiron Bly, N.Y. City. ‘8 Power Alm Addrvne Wh dred 3 een thous: ISehe ADDITION. Teacher—*You can't add two differ- HARD LUCK. The lady—*Tut why have you left ils of thing: stance, you your other positions so often?” Idan orange and an apple and” The would-be cook—'*Please, ma’am, use I've got nine brothers, four of inny—"But, teacher, when you slicemen, and none of my mis- add a piece of meat and a dog, you get tresses’ bell that they are more dog.” Lampoon. brothers !""—Red Hen. Der fiderte Weg PERFECTLY SAFE WHERE HE WAS Railseay oficial te villager —* Don't you know it is dangerous to be wh Villager —* Dangerous? Why, man, not a moter-car can touch me —Maggendorjer tlacter, e you are WELL QUALIFIED. “What q ve you for a position in BRAINLESS BUG. The lightning bug is brilliant, But it hasn't any mind; It travels through the darkne: With its headlight on behind, Cornell Widow, end oy ifeations departinent? Applicant test « weather barca “Ina bean: e up State, [gue nd twenty, a nd four jar."’—Yale sing. con- ELI'S GRAD. had a little grad beans in t Record, E Whose love was all aglow, BOTH IN THE SAME BOAT. And every time reunions cami Julia "Going. to Marie's dance?” ‘The grad to “T shall be out of town that Yale hk | THE PROPOSAL. th dulin ithe “IT wasn't invited, "Cornell Widew, He (ner aret A GOOD REASON. sometl Chelly Why wouldn't on my ber vive you a shampod months. We “Said they had She—"Yes, 80 1 see, Why ners.” — Yale don’t you shave it off?" Princeton Tiger. WEATHER FORECAST. “The period of the alumni reunions will be wet."—Ci nell Wide, » is to think vuldn’t have done any ke. When Yale meets Vas. sur. — Yule Record. Cap and Gown Smiles my | built just for thos |have not laws, and they are not ob-| said the musical genius, In answering advertisements please mention Jupce, It will be appreciated. Reflected Humor| THE LOST CAR. | ted one day in the tonneau, 1 was timid and ill at For | heard a sort of rumbling And a kind of a warning wheeze. I know not what struck my chauffeur, Nor what he had struck, nor whom— But | heard a bombilation Like the sound of the crack of doom! RR KAKKKRE | It flooded the crimson twilight Like the crash of a rending sky, And I lay on the burning asphalt With the motor across my thigh. Whiskey can only be produced in the old Kentucky way by perfect Istillation and careful agelog— Guch a whiskey Is Sunny Brook THE PURE FOOD Whiskey Tete bottied under the direction | of U. 8. Internal Revenue Officers $04 sealed with the Government NGreen Stamp"? upon which 1s Tt qui ted cries and moaning, ‘© a man who scolds his wife; It seemed an unending smash-up | That would speedily end my life, | It linked all my breaks and bruises | Into one perfect pain; And it rumbled and whizzed and guggled, | As if it would come again. Brine ny efact aw, Prot a muty of whiskeyrwituin excl Ihave sought, but I seek it vainly Senny Brook Distt URN - a nD; wryCo. The reason for that great sound saasy ie That came from the soul of the motor Roryieghend As it threw me on the ground, It may be a first-class earthquake | Could bring such a sound to mer | And it may be that only in nightmare I shall hear that noise again, —Carolyn Wells in Harper's Weekly. CARELESS. “Bridget, how does it happen that 1 saw you giving that wretched policeman a piece of mince pie in the kitchen last nigh AT THE POORHOUSE. Young med.- “In the new wing being ause I forgot to fill up the key- Hebrews?” jhete, mum English Auswers. Enthusinatic ‘Yes; and it’s 'TEVERY WOMAN a perfect jewel!"'—Harvard Lampoon, is interested and should know about the won. “MARVEL nurse The popularity of Abbott's Bitters ax a tonic is | ry wi | CURBING A NEW CONGRESSMAN. A new member of Congress from one of the rural districts of Mi WHIRLING SPRAY Wir 'y, und accordingly watched for al opportunity. At length an occasion presented itself. A_ motion was made in the House for enforcing | the execution of some statute, where-! upon the orator in embryo rose solemnly up, and, after giving three loud hems, | spoke as follows: **Mr. Speak have we laws or have we no laws? If we Ask your drug. ist for it. it he cannot sup. ply the MARVE! noother, butsend stamp for illustrated be alec It gives full particulars and directions invaluable to ladies. Address MARVEL CO., 44 East 234 Street, New York accept serv 1, to what end are those laws | o saying, he sat down, chest | ing high with conscious conse- Instantly Cox, the clown of SANTAL CAPSULES the House, with a twinkle in his eye, | rose and delivered his thoughts in the words: ‘Mr. Speaker, did the honorable gentleman who spoke last speak to the purpose or not speak to the purpose? | If he did not speak to the purpose, to| what purpose did he speak?” ‘That particular orator never troubled the House again.—St. Lowix Kepublic. BROOKS’ NEW CURE CONCERNING A COLLEGE D..>REE. | dncoverst Wendertul No Lick Shnonous eprings or pada Mater—"Certainly, Henry, take him ‘Rutomatte Ate Curtions, into your business, He didn't go. 8 through college for nothing."” and dra:vs the broken together as you would No, my dear, not exactly for counterfeits. roo C. E. BROOKS, 349 Brooks Botlding, Marshall, Mich. RHEUMATISM & GOUT PROMPTLY RELIEVED BY, THE MODERN WAY. “LT hear w Heine dollars for our sheepskins this y« have to pay ten wile", “Ye: . raising | the THEENGLISH REMEDY ie Cn BLAIR'S PILLS AT THE MUSICA “What a mar’ a ‘onuccisTs. lous strain that is!"") id the unappreciative; * —Yale Record. Mcthers will find Mrs. Winslow's Soothing Syray nedy for their children. ‘a bottle, comicbooks.com