Judge — June 5, 1909 — page 11: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

+e -—__ A CHURCH SERVICE WITHOUT SINGING. OWEVER regrettable! it may be, the ordi- nary church choir is not noted for har- mony, except, as may apply to some cases, in their vocal efforts. Generally, too, the much-used French saying, ‘‘cherchez la femm will locate the trouble, or the beginning of it, at least. But then, where does a mixed organization exist in which a woman does not take a sweet delight in setting the broth boiling once in a while, just to see the water bubble? It’s a part of her irresistible nature—she just can’t help it. The spinster contralto had made some remarks about the hat of the tenor’s wife, and the petty ruction that it started in the choir-world on Monday had not been smoothed over at the close of the week, and Sunday found the choir loft empty. The minister was obvi- ously displeased, but without comment he arose and announced the opening hymn, which he at once began reading, commencing ‘‘I love to steal a while away,’ selected possibly with some ap- plication to the absent choir. Lacking the trained voices to lead the singing, one of the worthy deacons vol- unteered to throw himself into the breach, and he proceeded to lead. He struck the tune at such an angle that it| was evident he intended to hit only the high places, and when he had got so fa as ‘‘I love to steal’’"— he broke down. He pitched it a second time and again broke down at steal, because he was away too low. Nothing daunted, how- ever, he started in again and sang “I love to steal’’— and again he went down as before. The audience became so amused at this point that suppressed giggles threat- ened to break up the session, so the| minister arose and, with grave and sol- emn dignity, said, “It is greatly to be regretted. proceed at once to the sermon."” RM. WINANS. Iwill His GREATEST DELIGHT EVERY SATURDAY NIGHT healthy growth of hair and thus premature baldnes: PACKER’S TAR SOAP PURE AS THE PINES 8 Is prevented. EXPERT IN GEOGRAPHY. Secretary of State Knox, says the Brooklyn Eagle, has found’ a colored messenger in his office who knows some- thing of geograph; Alongside of the secretary’s desk is a great globe, standing almost six feet high. The other day Mr. Knox con- sulted it to see if it were really true | that the sun never sets on our dominions nowadays, or to learn something else of equal importance. The Pennsylvania statesman is the pink of neatness, and was somewhat irritated to find that the big revolving ball had soiled his coat- sleeve. | “William,” he said sharply to the messenger, and laying his finger on the replied the negro with that familiarity that comes of mingling with greatne “What do you mean?"’ demanded the premier. “Why, youse got yuh fingah on de esert of Sahara.’’ Mr. Knox did badly at trying to sup- press a smile. “You'll find some on the Atlantic | Ocean, too,”’ he remarked as he turned to his desk. OVER THE FENCE NEIGHBOR SAYS SOMETHING. The front-yard fence is a famous council place on pleasant days. Maybe to chat with some one along the street or for friendly gossip with next-door neighbor. Sometimes it is only small | talk, but other neighbor has some- thing really good to offer. An old resident of Baird, Tex., got some mighty good advice this way once. He says, “Drinking coffee left me nearly dead |with dyspepsia, kidney disease, and jbowel trouble, with constant pains in my stomach, back, and side, and so weak I could scarcely walk. “One day I was chatting with one of my neighbors about my trouble and told her I believed coffee hurt me. Neigh- bor said she knew lots of people to whom coffee was poison, and she pleaded with me to quit it and give Postum a trial. I did not take her advice right away, but tried a change of climate, which did not do me any good. Then I dropped coffee and took up Postum. “My improvement began immediately and I got better every day I used Postum. | ‘My bowels became regular and in two weeks all my pains were gone. Now I am well and strong and can eat anything I want to without distress. All of this is due to my having quit ffee, and to the use of Postum regu- “My son who was troubled with in- digestion thought that if Postum helped |me go, it might help him. It did, too, | and he is now well and strong aga |“ We like Postum as well as we ever liked the coffee and use it altogether in my family in place of coffee, and keep well.” ‘There's a Reason Read “The Road to Wellville,”” in pack- age Ever read the above I appears tro: genuine, true, jer? Anewone time. They are of human Interest. BARABRISM VS. BARBERISM. In far-off days of our ancestors Barbarism ruled mankind, it left its Footprints on the human mind. But in these times of many marvel: When thought dominates the race, Still barberism cuts its figure On the tender human ‘ace, 1. PRORSTEIN. She—Does the course of their love run smooth He—Oh, yt ; there ar; banks on both sides."—N. Y. sven‘ng Telegram. | Wherever you see this sign, it stands for civilization. It is the sign of one of the most powerful in- fluences for broadening human intellience. ‘The universal service of the Bell companies has provided it—has spread an even, highly developed civilization through the land. It has carried the newest impulses of development from town to town and from community to community. Bell telephone service has brought the entire country up to the same instant of progress. It has unified the Nation, As soon as a new town springs up in the woods, on the plains, at the ctoss-roads, or walled in by mountains, the signpost of civilization is erected— the sign of the Bell. ‘l'elephone ser- vice puts the people of that town into communication with one another and with the outside world. It puts the town on the map. You can see this march of progress right in your own neighborhood, Every little while some neighbor has a Bell telephone put in. If you have one, every new subscriber enlarges the scope of your personal contact. If you have not, every new telephone makes you the more isolated—the more cut off from the activities about you. Just as individuals in your locality use the telephone for mutual conveni= ence, so towns and cities in different localities are served and advanced by the long distance telephone. Each contributes to, and benefits by, the broad universal service of the Bell. The busy man who wants to accomplish more than he is now doing can well afford to make use of the Bell Long Distance service. It is the most efficient office assistant im- aginable. Every Bell Telephone is a Long Distance station. The American Telephone and Telegraph Company And Associated Companies One Policy, One System, Universal Service THE SPICE OF LIFE. Ashley—Do you have much variety in your boarding-house?”” Seymour—Well, we have three different names for the meals.""—Exchange. RE) E NGE IS SWEET. Vegetarian—"*\f 1 get out of this I ‘Il eat beef the rest of my days."* Com g 7 pl ¢ 4 i “bs concn —London Punch. comicbooks.com