Judge — May 8, 1909 — page 3: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

3 WAS born in New Jersey, near the town of Hackensack. This place has become famous through our family, but would never have dof but for us. Many other reg distinguished for mosquitocs, but it was re- erved for our family to immortal- ize Hackensack. Green Swamp was my exact been h ns are birthpl It is a pretty little in- land sea, filled with lily pads, tall, swaying stumps of decayed tree: ter is perfectly st soft, green scum upon its sile The surrounding . miasmatic perfum cronk of frog, the hiss of snake, and the keech of the marsh hens make witches’ melody. In all directions the country is flatly oozy, relieved at intervals by yellow stretches of hot sand, a deep-rutted pike, or dusty railroad. Here I spent my happy youth, learning to swim and fly and sing. in the most approved mosquito fashion, until it was time to go and see the wide, wide world beyond. Unlike the unprogressive human family, whose young require some twenty years to mature, we are born and educated, fitted out and approved, w twenty-four hours, and ready in earnest. Then, t are not ashamed of it. had something like forty thousand girls and eight hundred and twenty thousand boys, all sturdy youngsters, bright-eyed and stirring. 1 the human mother getting these two million children off to school in the morning, lay- ing out their things, hearing their lessons, and mend- ing their stockings, kissing them all good-by, and then fixing up their rooms. As a people, we are great singer: cially the boys, and it is a matter of general mirth when we hear of the human family going into ecstasies over one of their number who is able to sing alittle, We almost die of laughter to hear that they nearly worship a man they call Caruso, and go into a delirium before a few women like Melba, Eames, Patti, or Jenny Lind. Why, we have more than fifty thousand Melbas in our family alone, Before the advent of the railroad w ampsid face. The old man folded a t batted around the roe hin and ‘sand My mother, for inst million two hundred nee, one and “A mosquito’s is of our time around our own s\ then, have done some little our people are settled at Atlant! in fact, I have friends everywhere, even so far as Boston, southern mosquitoes are only distantly re to us, but, I claim unproved virtues of superiority. ‘They certainly ar than we, and if they have yellow fever in their veins, w type of malaria in our blood that I defy them or any others to match, Our family can trace its malarial blood as far back as the Crusaders, T have heard many human beings boast that they could trace ck as fur as William th eror, but 1 have tried It happened that, during a visit to Cape traveling, and m Cape May, Ocean City, and, The ys no larg fine their blood b: Con it and it was not fit to eat. ay y py bios ‘eVveries,, a pair of lovers.” A th! se ie Sof a AoW ‘ay George Reiter Brill May, I put up at a large, new hotel, in an apart man and his wife who were boasting of the! was who claimed her descent from the great Norman, She was a skinny old thing, and I am sure her Norman blood must have been spoiled, Just retiring, I heard her she hoped there were no mosquitoes in the room, for, if there were, she was certain to lie awake all night in misery. It was up to the old man, therefore, to fold a towel and bat the room, slapping imaginary dots untilhe was tired; then, assuring her that there was not a mosquito in the room, he turned the li When the light went out, Tcommenced a tour of investi- sation and found two cousins of mine. After greetings and consultation we decided to give the old girl a taste of what she Accordingly we promptly attacked her without merey. As we thought, shaking her consort, berated hi ent occupied by a estry, and she it an before around. family goes so far as to fill Hing, oil.” so much dre with a start, and, roundly for deceiv- she awoke ing her. ** The room is alive with mosquitoes," she cried. “1 am almost bitten to pi ‘Then she commen ch und to whimper, until, at last, uld stand it no longer, he jumped from the bed with a growl, turned up the lights sav- mmenced to whack the wall in all direc- complaining at each stroke that it was all he didn't feel a bite, and that there was not mosquito in the room, The next morning caped through the hall, and were greatly amused at a conversation in the eely, and ¢ tions, ‘imi ination- office, where our Norman lady was giving the propri- ctor fits for the carelessness of his help, who let mosquitoes run off with the property. ‘* Well, mad- dam," said he,‘ we certainly do not invite them, I shall have the room 2 featein enfogmenn, 10M! Rate » swoop down on with the e hope that you will have a better night's sleep to. night.” A mosquito's greatest enjoyment in life is to go out witha party of three or four hundred thousand friends into a quiet gl where are expected to meet, when they are vowin and swearing that nd, just nal love comicbooks.com