Judge — May 1, 1909 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

(AR. re RUssELE — MODERN METHODS BRING BUSINESS, Mr. Spider—** 1'd like to meet the spider that runs that lay-out down there; he’s got this old-fashioned web beat a block."” WHAT STRUCK A STRANGER IN NEW YORK. (Being a series of extracts from the notebook of a recent visitor to the metropolis.) NE of. the best-known New York hotels announces that its lem flat ten feet wide, and does business on a downtown street about ®) bridal suite has walls of glass. This strikes an ordinary, forty fect wide, can be expected to take a very broad view of life. common-garden observer as the extreme of publicity. ‘The general impression that one gets of the wealth of New York I consider, after some experience with it, that the taxi- from the visible expenditure conjures up not 80 much a resplendent eab is a great moral agent. It has attached to its wheels a meter vision of clinking gold, as of notes and bills falling due. Aclose study of the ways of the New York chauffeur convinces me that he goes at the rate he does because of a fear that his hind wheels will get there ahead of his front ones. In New York everything is so over- crowded that only the pusher gets any- where, This seems to be the condition a even in the sacred precincts of metro- politan society. NoRACE DODD GasTrT. ' AN UP-TO-DATE LOVE POEM. YOUNG man, as poor as could B, Loved a girl who was way up in G. To her he declared, ‘I love U, , And would we were 1 instead of 2. She replied, ‘ It’s papa U must C. Now he feels blue; father said “* 23."" ’ BEATEN AT LAST. “11 %e no use, Brownie ; I can’t beat that machine since they have perfected it."” which entirely relieves the chauffeur of the necessity of lying about the fare by doing it for him. Mendacity by machinery is infinitely preferable to that involving the personal conscience. It pleased me very much the other day to note the delight with which two newsboys consumed a plateful of hoki-poki ice-cream. It was a real pleasure to observe that there were at least two resi- dents of this town who could enjoy anything so simple. It is entirely wrong to say that repose is a thing unknown to o New York. Any man with two eyes and a logical brain can demon- strate the contrary to his own satisfac- tion by contemplat- ing the average New York policeman in action. Philadelphia has been called a City of Homes; but of New York, after a more than casual glance around, I should say A NEW USE FOR PAJAMAS { i sity Uncle Hi—* Wa-al, | reckon I'm togged out right that Ub way «City of smart ferdarter Jane's weddin’ ! She told me t? git some E ma Away-from-homes. evenin’ clothes, an’ here they be. Dunno es I ever seen tes a aid I must say I can- enybuddy wear togs like these t° a weddin'; but the clerk doawn t’ th’ city told me they wuz used fer evenin’ wear, an’ I'm a-goin’ t’ set th’ fashion in Punkville fer wonet."” THis MUST BE ONE OF THOSE “EASY not see how a man FLOWING” FOUNTAIN PENS. who lives in a Har- comicbooks.com