Judge — April 17, 1909 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Shears and LIVED HAPPY EVER AFTE “Yes, my friend, 1 was abo countess when T sti peat mere thi er dressmaki THE PACE THAT TELLS. “How fast was he going?" asked the bulldog on the seat beside d like a dachshund," re- plied th And thy sed was held for sessions. Landon Graphic, CORRECT ANSWER. “This,’? said a teacher to her class of “is a unit.” She held ‘This book is a unit, too,"* “And these are units.” And she showed them a ruler, a flower, and n apple. Then sh and, holding up the pecl, chililren, what is this?’? ome, you know what it 1, William’ the, matam, th Christiam Registers * said the teacher, skin of a unit."” TRAGIC WORDS. was condoling country parson with the bereft widow, “Alas! continued cannot tell you how pai learn that your husband had gone to heaven. We were bosom friends, but ° shall never meet again.'’—Lippin- KNEW HIS BUSINESS. y,"" said the old farmer sncer- ingly, to the city chap who was working in his garden, “what air yew a-goin’ t’ do when yew git through diggin’?”’ “Put a porous plaster on my back,” replied the amateur soil disturber.— Chicago News, THE THREE AGES OF MAN. Report by a young English schoolgirl of a lecture on ‘*Phases of Hum Life —Youth, Manhood, and - Age' “In youth we look forward to the wicked things we will do when we grow up— this is the state of innocence. In man- hood we do the wicked things of which we thought in our youth—this is the In old age we are sorry 1 things we did in manhood : time of our dotage.""— Christian Register, OBSERVING LENT. you going to give up dur- “Oh, he troit Free loesn't observe Lent.’’—De- Press, Paste Pot! ! WOMAN'S VANITY. “Are you Mrs. Brown?” asked the reporter. | “*Yes,"" replied the lady, who was | holding herself in readiness to slam the | door in his face if he attempted to enter. “T have been sent out to secure a pic- ture of you for publication in the Morn- | \ing Bulletin, Have you a photograph of yourself that I may borrow?” | “Mercy! 1 like your effrontery! I wouldn't think of permitting any pape to publish a picture of m “You are Mrs. William Henry Brown, are you not? | “Yes; but that makes no difference. | Ishall not let you have a photograph. I would be so mortified that I could never look any of my friends in the face again if a picture of me were printed in a newspaper. "” “1 am sorry you feel that way about it. Of course, if you object, 1 suppc we shall have to get along without the photograph. Your husband is the Wil-! liam Henry Brown who has just be ideney of the Rein and Stirrup Club, is he not?"” fo; that’s another William Henry Brown. The papers are always getting us mixed, It’s awfully provoking. ——— “Oh, beg your pardon! In that! _!N THE EDITORIAL SANCTUM. RONDEAU. | case it is not your picture I want." We — Fitor (to caller who has been airing Sweet Phyllis knit a mitten blue, intended to publish a group under the his vi Look here, are you the Of texture soft and pleasing hu J of ‘Beautiful Wives of Prominent is paper?” And I looked on as merrily have bothered Caller—"*No, no; certainly not.’* The needles clicked and danced in glee, Edditor—"' Very well, then; don'tstand And in her hands it slowly grew. that's just_my luck!" she | there and talk like a fool!" —The Sketch, said to herself, w! had picked up her popular novel again. ‘I do wish my husband had the gumption to get elected president of something. And those last photographs I got make me look so young, too!’ Chicago Recurd- Herald. For Making Fudge and Taffy—get A pure, fine-flavored syrup that makes the finest kind of candy. In 10¢, 25¢, and 9c th A book of cooking and candy-making recipes Sent free on request. (CORN PRODUCTS REFINING C0. all grocers Those snow-white hands were {rir to see. Ah, but I loved them ardently ‘The shining needles faster 1; Sweet Phyllis knit. | AS TO LOSING. The world loves a good loser, But still the world chooses | To love even better ‘The man who ne'er loses, Pittsburgh Post. | At last ‘twas done, the work was through; She smiled, as maids know how to do, And tipped her fair head saucily, And said the mitten was for me Thus casily am I crushed, think you, Sweet Phyllis? Nit! Walter Alden Dyer, in The Bang. CRUELTY OF EMPLOYERS. Stenographer—"My emp tal to me.” Friend—"*Me Does he drink Stenographer—"No~ he ents cand And he does it while he ix dictating to "Cleveland Leader, ris bru- DIFFERENT STAGES. Are youdeaf to my pl Tam.” But what if I were to offer you a diamond ring?” She—"Oh, I'm not stone deaf.""— University of Vennsylvania Punch Bowl, dings? | [ively Sparkle —Exqui- site Bouquet— Absolute Purity—have de- lighted the most critical JOYS OF CHILDHOOD. “ Papa bought me a sled last Christmas: doesn’t do anything else but ride on it himself !" nd now he —Fliegende Blactter, TWO HOURS FOR KISSES. IN OTHER WORDS, STINGY. She—"Did you notice the chauffeur] A friend was once talking with a | making eyes at the pretty waitress?” | crazy woman, when a stingy man passed He—"*Yes, It'shere undoubtedly that | by. | we'll have our breakdown."—Boston, ‘Do you see that man?” said she, Globe. with a cunning amile. ‘You could blow his soul through a humming-bird’s bill, THOSE SENIOR: RICTURES. into a mosquito’s eye, and the mosquito Photographer—''You're looking very wouldn't wink.’’—Catholic News, sober to-day, sir. Senior—*Yea; my mother’s in town.” -Yale Record. - Mothers will find Mrs. Winslow's Soothing Syrup the * best remedy for their chiblren. 2c. a bottle, comicbooks.com