Judge — March 6, 1909 — page 11: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

SOME EXPERIMENTS. | \ rafter I would like to be, But not the kind you mean, | like to try experiments— For that kind of work I'm keen, 1 really like to try my hand | what I could do, queer things I could evolve. “ Ifyou ever decide to settle down here and go in for politics,"” said the Politi- | cian, “ the first thing you should do is to an orator has made a reputation and [concealed his ignorance by an apothe- b ally, wouldn’t you? osis of the flag.”” I'd like to cross a mooly cow, “ ’ core . To realize adream,. The flag! What's the flag?” inquired would make her the Man from Mars. “Oh, of course, I quite forgot. You don't know what the flag is, do you? Well, you see, the flag—the flag—that is to say, the flag is—well, the flag is a kind With something tha give | A quart of nice ice-cream. I'd like to cross a race-horse With an ostrich, don't you see? So that he could run faster; ‘Then I'd win a bet maybe. of emblem, It stands for what we are."’ I'd like to cross a lion with | A big watch dog I own, And him hang around the house When I am home alone. if you cross a cabbage with me apples, then, no doubt, You'll be sure to gather in next fall A crop of sauerkraut. If you take a sweet potato And a green pea, if you please, And cross them, will the answer be A crop of nice swee Then | would turn my If | had the time to spare. | If you cross a lemon with a peach, Now would that make a pear? “What do you mean by that?” pur- sued the Man from Mars, with growing t stand for?’’ “The replied the Politician, | blandly stil is very meek. Itcan’t | talk back, and accordingly it stands for almost anything. | ing to tell you. flag,”* Whenever you make a Your palate now I'll tickle— And cross them with a cucumber, Will you get a nice sweet pickle. But, t of all, I'd like to cross itiful amount with some magic wand, And produce a bank account. ¥. x. Mooney. ADVANCE INFORMATION. A fire had occurred for the fourth time in a single year in Levy's store. “Didn't 1 tell you to call me if there was a fire in my store?"’ he asked his clerk. es,” the frightened clerk answered, “but I thought you knew about it."” NEW IDEA. ne COUPLE. 1D WISCON! It doesn't pay to stick too closely to old notions of things. New ideas often 1 to better health, success, and hap- A Wisconsin couple examined an idea new to them and stepped up several rounds on the health ladder. ‘The hus- band writes: | Several years ago we sutfered from coffee drinkin, e sleeple: rvous, | sallow, weak, and irritable. My wife | and I both loved coffee and thought it was a bracer."’ (Delusion.) | “ Finally, after years i real of Postum and the harmfulness of coffer, and, believing that to grow we should give some attention to new id we de to test Postum. “When we made it right we liked it and were relieved of ills caused by cof- Our friends noticed the chang skin, sturdier nerves, better room whe She—"* Ate juries loaded speech and don't know what to say, praise the flag.”* Then what happens?”’ Then the people go fairly wild, They jump up in their seats and yell them- selves hoarse and wave their handker- chiefs and break their hats and keep at it for a long time “* What good does that do?"’ inquired the Man from Mars, much interested. “That docs two things, * These changes were not sudden, but relief increased as we continued to drink and enjoy Postum, and we lost the desire for coffee, ny of our friends did not like tum ut first, because they did not make it right. 'But when they boiled Politician. ‘First, it gives the speaker Postum according to directions on pack- time to collect his thoughts; and, sec- wee, until it w: liked it better tl benefited by the ch Reason.” dark an coffe ne and rich, they and) were “There's a ond, it proves how great a nation we think we are. “Yea; but what do you say about this wonderful thing, this mysterious, N Postum Co., Battle given by Creek, Mich, Read ** The Road to Well- mystical flag?” ville,” in packages. “It's just like this," responded the er read the above letter? A new Politician. ‘If you are advocating a proposition, you begin by commending ne appears trom time to time. They e genuine, true, and full of human in- THE FLAG. get up a good speech on the flag. Many] ‘That's what I'm try-| it in the name of the flag. opposing the same or another proposi- tion, you begin by denouncing it in the name of the flag. In both cases you at once cease talking about the subject and continue to talk exclusively about the flag, saying anything commendatory that comes into your head.” But suppose what you say is not true,"’ suggested the Man from Mars. That's not the point," replied the Politician, ‘* You must commend the flag because the people will not believe ill of it. If what you say is false, it can't be helped. On the other hand, if you are going to stick to the truth all the time, there is no need of the flag at all. You must understand that the flag is not an argumen “Yea; but what is it?”” “It ia the emblem of an argument.” ELLIS 0, JONES. commotion in the SHE MEANT A HOT JOURNAL. “Oh, papa,’ exclaimed little Edna, who had be vntown with her moth- er, “the car we came home on caught n do What caused it to catch fire, dear?” asked her father. “A hot newspaper, replied Edna, THAT BAD, BAD BOY. This mornin’ when I went to school I got my zamples wrong. When teacher says, ‘Git up, and sing I couldn't sing the song. the conductor said,” gittin’ mad and madder, ur the fellers laughed at me; ust can’t stand their giggles, I won't, I won't, by gee! And | yn teacher says to me, hn, git up and spell.” Says I, “The only word 1 know Is h—e—double 1.” If you are! See what hap- , pens when you boilan ordinary Shaving Brush This is a photo- graph of an ordi- nary shaving brush after being boiled about a minute. The salesman represented it to be a "very good brush"; and, as ordinary brushes go, it wus. But who wants to use cold water for shaving? Hot water—one of the es- sentials to a comfortable shave, softens all settings of glue, rosin, or cement and in time ruins the brush: Hot water—ésiling water will never harm a RUBBERSET Shaving Brush Nothing happens when you boil a Rubberset Shaving Brush The bristles are set in a solid bed of hard, vul- canized rubber which is absolutely impervious to water, hot or cold. Never crumbles or swells — in fact, the setting is there to last a lifetime. And yet this almost indestructible brush costs an the ordinary bristle-shedding kinds. nteed never to lose a bristle {rom its Look for the name on each brush. setting. 5204 Metropolitan Tower, N.Y. City, Branch Offices: Boston, Chicas 84 Fern a San Francisco, ‘iste LAUGH WITH SIS HOPKINS Her Own Book We NEWS-STANDS Ie dence Never Sells Your goods must be presented pleas- Rew customers and keep old buyers, Barnes -Crosby Co. Catalog Makers wood eniravings an Day and Night Service. Barnes-Crosby Company E. W. HOUSER, President 215 Madison Street, - Chicago. Tiranehs offices fa 13 principal cities. SNES SSS SEM comicbooks.com