Judge, 1909-02-20 · page 5 of 16
Judge — February 20, 1909 — page 5: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains three separate humorous pieces from Judge magazine: 1. **"Why Pings Resigned"**: A story about a bookkeeper in love who receives beauty treatments (shaves, manicures) from his girlfriend, then resigns after she gifts him razor-sharpening supplies—the joke being he's henpecked and the razors are a mockery. 2. **"Hiller of Poor, Frail Human Nature"**: A short philosophical piece about human weakness and good intentions. 3. **"Dramatic Finance"** and **"Quite a Difference"**: Brief dialogue jokes about musical comedy performers and a composer-critic dispute over musical taste. The page combines domestic comedy (the Pings story mocking male domestication) with theatrical humor. No specific political figures are caricatured; instead, these are generic social satires targeting everyday folly—relationships, vanity, and artistic pretension—typical of Judge's middle-class audience humor.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
WHY PINGS RESIGNED. INGS the bookkeeper was in love, In fac nographer had him so daz- zled that he was getting hay ing the ends of his mus- che; and memorizing whole pages of 1¢ nets, One day his handed him her ink no he returned it he ir fairly curle pleasure as she to sharpen, and wh beamed on her and said, Mise Pe . if there is one thi n do well, it is to sharpen a knif Jet me at Le any of this work to be done, pl ly, 1 will consider it a favor."” and whenever you hiv tend to it for you. It The next morni penknives for him to try his skill on, and two days later three p , and, after those had been attended to, she handed him a couple of she brought down to the off ne razors, Mr. Pings. Father and the and 1 know how you lov them to you every month. Pings’s jaw dropped when he opened the package and found work, 1M briny to bed at midnight, after wed it would be th yrs, and when he crawled all evening, he v would ever do. twelve dull working on th of the kind st job The very next day the ded him ane other pa nd this time it was seve es that needed attentic 1 it took just one smile to make him forget his ve not the office force and then the boys de- ¢ down to the x, a shovel, seve This might hi nded the matter for a ti uyght on to what the bookkeeper was doing, ded to have some fun at his expense, FP fice one morning to find on his des nt swords, and a pickax, and y yer, on whi ! the lawn-mo: ca kahoe, a ned to the latter was a piece ‘once, Mr. Pings. Will bring down But Pings was throue! — When he had recovered from his astonishment, he wasn't «ees minutes in looking for another 1 Kl position, An te tn ANLERS Of- VOOR, FRAIL HUMAN NATURE: He swore off from poker ai And everythin, he consi Hur | a not give up her And for this he did break every jood resolution, 66] M GOING.to put * says the manny “in which all thi Ido the Isidora Duncan all the ti ow 12” avks his listener, ** Why, you'll be paying fines all the time for giving: impre “ Maybe; but we'll chough on costumes to pay all those fines ten times over.” QUITE A DIFFERENCE. 66 LTOW DARE you!” exels you, sir, eha d you,"” demurs th rhapsody impromptu w y good friend, I said no such thing! Laid ims t ungiry composer to his eritic. terize my music as you ha DIFFERENT. VIEWPOINTS. First chauffeur Vere shu Second chauffeur —" What First chanffeur—" Why, to st bile comi critic flagman at this erossi aid that m «bum tune!" “Bum tune! Oh, it was a vagrant melody express trains when he sees an automo: comicbooks.com