Judge — January 23, 1909 — page 14: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

ESTABLISHED 1810 A GENTLE HINT. SHOCKING. OLD When hubby telephones to say, She—"I hear the girls have tried to “LE won't be home to-night see who could wear the most decidedly décolleté gown to the Prom. He“ am shocked at the bare idea!"* lanford University Chaparral, Till after twelve—I" Just I'm going out my: And won't be Will hy «hom He'll al. s com + lots to do, all right; night, in till lat on time? You bet! home straight. OVERHOLT RYE CONCISE. “What's the difference between ca Harvard Lampom, | tal and labor? . Well, one owns the works and the A STRAIGHT TELLING BAD EGGS. other works the owne Princeton WHISKEY “What's the best way to tell a bad Tiger, : eg?” 7 MADE. TO. “1 don’t know, but 1 would su ig TRERING THE TRUTH. DAY THE that if you have anything, really impor- — Mrexha " Iehater—"Was my argu-| ‘ t to tell a bad why—break it ment sound? SAME AS fen Yale Ieecunh Candi eritic—"Yes largely." IT WAS IN Yale Keeord, 1810—AL- AND PROBABLY FASTER. THE FIRST-CLASS ALL-ROUND MAN. With Mr, Quiller-Caue Cap her (seeing shnay inattentive) MOST A CEN. liow yo. in win- TURY AGO. FD “Whe tertime ape of thi ny Why—er—it yoes straight Oh, Twas the pride of the countrysi . just like it does any in the days of umpty-nine! Aovennott 6 co, || vther time.” —University of Pennsyle There wasn't a name in the Hall of rinsburehsPa. |] ernie Pane Howl, Fame they dared to rank with im They've “specialized days, but listen and you shall he Of the match that crowned the glories of an All-round M er. do." ry | sportsmen nowa- EVERYTHING IN THE TOBACCO LINE. “Do you keep smokeless to- N's € “What kind is it? He hooked his left to. the he Clerk “Chewing. tobacco, of course missed swung my right above Cornett Wid | And we halved the hole in an even and the seore stood “Thirty love, CAUSING TALK. Rut he took the ygrille with a back “That man furnishes more ground for| killa fe Is for nery any other | know.” And he turned led when Ln awn, is rowd at Dead Man's | Head of the Weather nthe rail Bureau, ane ‘ed the ivories Nothing like grape fruit and Abbott's Hitters axa) an 1 ninety-four, bevakfant diet ‘But he squared the h with ing catch, and we dealt the SAFE AND SANE ADVICE. once n Visit What best way tol] tried to bluff on a brace of treys, but get the Preside ? | he made me show my ha Whit attache d his steed to a winning leap Cateh hold of | And he fore Harvard Lampoon, a8 Wo ni the Loe! the judges’ stand, For. ime years this famous Ameri- can Champagne has carried the flag AT THE HASH-HOUSE. |then he took the puck to the end of the CAP-AND-GOWN SMILES A DISTINCTION. Father—"1 think Horace would get along bettet without his roommate.** Mother—*Why, Horace says they are fast friends.” Father—*Without doubt; and if he 1 fewer fast friends and me , I would be better sai Cornell Widow, MINING NOTE. Smithers was a mine promote w he's left the broker’s 4 quite simply in th ng. country; Present address, “Ossining, ”* Harcard Lampom. HE GOT. “Flee!” cried the girl. “You mean fly,’ corrected the lo tim ! Pa’s comin’. Pennsylvania anch ¢ replied, University Bowl, THOSE DEAR GIRLS. “Are you really angry because I 1 to kiss you the ell Widerw He ask ause you aske « NO WONDER. ‘ighbor's baby doesn’t “You say your r jery,so much as it used to?" «the nights are Cornell Widow, getting HARD TO BEAT. ht [held a little hand, ainty and so neat. ht my heart would burst with Methou jo: So wildly did it beat. hi other hand unto my soul iter solace bring, Thap that I held last night, which was Four aces and a king. —Wesleyan Literary Monthly. A-CLOSE CALL. you had a close call the other of public approval top-mast. On its “You spoke too late’’—as the boarder and lifted fair and true, , it was a pretty tight sque i” merits—purity, quality and flavor— | said, when he heard a chirping as he But I broke his neck with my body chi engaged man.—Stanford Uni the. American people have stamped |swallowed a hard-boiled egg.— Purple Timer’s whistle blew, | rsity Chaparral. it “The Worlds’ Best.” Cow, ched him up and he took his Ps and the Princeton stands went SAYING WHAT YOU MEAN. | CORNERING :A"WOMAN: ; Barber—You need a hair cut badly, - —} Jack—"Did you ever get a girl in a But 1 thought of the fame of the Mud- gir,"* corner in an argument?” ville game, and smiled as ‘Shavee—"Well, go ahead. 1 don't Mack “*Well- ch— not in an argu- smiled, know any one who can do it worse than ears | ment."*—Yale Record. y you."—Curnell Wide, BILL JINKS. | § And they cheered him to the echo on IN HOC'SIGNO. Bill Jinks was the perlitest man. That ever 1¢ I've often se the Observation Train Till a fearful lick off Casey's stick broke | Tim O'Hara's thumb, A sof , fine grained skin is a valued possession. To let a fre ht tr WL Lampoon, And Enoticed that as L went to bat for : : | LT knew my chance had come, Pears’ Soap gives title to LEAVING THE OLD HOME. a | ! “ So I gripped the racquet tightly, and ownership. Alas, I fear that we shall loose the”? jadied the strap on my Welst, old home pla wept the Eskimo, a8 and threw my body into the stroke, and Fstabliched in 179, the spring sun commenced to shine on "struck with a bit of a twist; | a his house, Stanford University Chapar- piye hundred yards on the earry, and ral. sixty more on the roll— WHAT THE POETS THOUGHT OF some ANd I laid him a perfect stymie, de: OF OUR CONTEMPORARIES. at the final h , which no king can cor- rr kespeare, Henry 1V."" And that's the end of my story, and I hath quicksands, Life hath hope the moral’s plain, ong fellow, For my athlete days are over and I will BIND YOUR COPIES OF JUDGE An excellent binder for fifty-two copies will be sent postpaid for $1.25. Write to-day for one. tedious not play again. THE JUDGE CO. dull And Sport has gone to the devil with the 225 Fifth Avenue New York % Specialization Plan, IRS do oft np prophets."’ But you can’t destroy the holy joy of irst-class All-round Man! King Lear. the Harvard Lampoon, y the tooth of tim es: Young, The St “A would-be satirist, a hired buffoon, A monthly scribbler of some low LAM- | POON.""—Byron. —-Princeton Tiger. JUDGE’S LIBRARY AT ALL NEWSDEALERS t's stick around,’ said the fly to his partner, after their arrival on thi fly-paper.—Stanfurd University Chapa al. TEN CENTS A COPY Kehecca—""Mrs. Isaacstein_ keeps up the traditions of the family all right.”” Lewh—* Yes?” Kebecea—""She gave three balls last winte necton Tiger. STAGE-DOOR MAXIMS. It is a long show that hath no ending. By their slang ye shall know them, All's well that spends we friend in need is a friend no longer. ‘ake cure of the peni st thou be of the wherewith to get home. s nine points of the law, 80 freeze to your wad, Hitch your wagon to a star and you'll strike Wh e's a way. Though you can lead a pony to the café, you can’t make her drink water. A ‘fellow in an auto is worth two in the street.—Cornell Widow, Is it possible that the American girl doesn’t understand that, between piers and peers, the former are the better to tie up to?—Princeton Tiger. comicbooks.com