Judge, 1909-01-16 · page 7 of 16
Judge — January 16, 1909 — page 7: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains several satirical pieces typical of early 20th-century American humor: **"By the Garden Wall"** is a romantic poem mocking saccharine courtship dialogue—the joke being the maid's competitive compliment-matching ("the moon above is not so full / As you"). **"Self-Evident"** satirizes women's club culture, suggesting members prioritize social gatherings over childcare—a dig at the emerging women's club movement. **"The After-Christmas Survey"** features an Irish immigrant father figure making a joke about his daughter resembling a monkey in her Christmas outfit—ethnic humor typical of the era's vaudeville traditions. **"Song of the Oyster Roast"** is a dialect poem in African American vernacular, depicting oyster-eating with exaggerated speech patterns common to period minstrelsy traditions. The page also contains advertisements (Packer's Tar Soap, Grape-Nuts) and lighter domestic humor about marriage and food health claims. The content reflects Judge's satirical approach to American social life, though some pieces employ now-offensive ethnic stereotyping standard to the publication's era.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
BY THE GARDEN WALL. HEY sat upon the gate one night, The youthlet and the maid; “The stars above are not so bright As you,” he softly said. She lifted up her tiny hand Toward luna’s golden light; “The moon above is not so full As you, my dear, to-night.” CLARENCH RICHARD LINDNER SELF-EVIDENT. Mrs. Dorcas—* What induced your club to go record as to the injurious effect of rocking on babies? Mrs, Gadabout—* One of the members pointed out that we wouldn’t be able to attend the club meetings if we had to stay home to rock the babies."" AN Daughter Honora—* shmokin’ cap.” Father—** Oi be that. moonkey tail that ain't wur- AFTE The chicken A SACCHAROID SIMILE. HE. poetess, Madeline Mudge, Sent a sappy concoction to JupcE; So sweetly it read } PREMATURE BALDNESS is most surely prevented by the maintenance of adequate nutrition of the scalp, PACKER’S | TAR SOAP —through its special ingredients— offers the surest medium for the pro- motion of normal circulation of the scalp. Applied with proper ma- nipulation it aids—never supersedes Nature. Our helpful booklet, *The Value of Systematic Shampooing.” tells you how | ind why. Sent free on request ‘The Packer Mfg. Co. 81 Feltow St. New “Och, father, yez is a » if me friend Crowley at the zoo wad. ', Oi think the illusion wud be complate !"* er in yer Christmas coat and ind mea ‘THE MERRY WIDOW IN SONG OF THE OYSTER ROAST. H, AN oysteh roas’ on de white beach san’ O -side de ol’ blue bay ; dem oystehs smell so gran’ pass yo" hab to stay. De hot ahclla pop en de rich juice drop Right in de drif*wood fiah. yo" blade i je hot steam’s risi Oystehs fat en oystehs sweet! Take yo’ knife en cat en eat. go to de oysteh sloop, he cum wid a brimmi still dem hot shells keep on poppin’ n, eat! No time foh stoppin’. lub his oystehs fried in a stew, sonin’ bottles by his side; raw box, too. But he say de only way Der flavoh’s kept fum slippin’, m hot right on de spot, iquoh drippin’. En he lub di Oystehs fat en oystehs sweet! Take yo’ knife en eat en eat. Jeff he eat six dozen—my! He only stop when de buttons fl Down on de san’ dem shells am droppin’. Eat, man, eat! No time foh stoppin’. VICTOR A. HERMANN. “ E WHO takes a wife takes care"’— Although it very mach depends Upon whose wife you take. THE BARNYARD. —"*I say, Bill, pipe de hen wid de Merry Widder tail !" WARNING. In that there's no mistake; OVE makes the best dynamo to run the heart, but common-sense is the best rudder. ROSY AND PLUMP. GOOD HEALTH FROM RIGHT FOOD. “It’s not _a new food to me," re- marked a Virginia man, in speaking of Grape-Nuts. “About twelve months ago my wife was in very bad health, could not keep |anything on her stomach. The doctor commended milk half water, but it not sufficiently nourishing. A friend of mine told me one day to try Grape-Nuts and cream, The result, was really marvelous. My wife soon regained her usual strength, and to-day is as rosy and plump as when a girl of sixteen, | These are plain facts, and nothing 1 could say in praise of Grape-Nuts would exagge: in the least the value of this great food. Name given by Postum Co., Battle Mi id ** The Road to Well “There's a Rea- comicbooks.com