Judge, 1909-01-02 · page 7 of 16
Judge — January 2, 1909 — page 7: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains several brief humorous sketches typical of early 20th-century American satirical humor: **"Beat It!"** plays on a young man's frustration with his maid's romantic attention—he asks her to stop encouraging a suitor's advances, but she deflects with a pun about percussion instruments. **"He Knew"** jokes about Wall Street's reputation during financial troubles—a husband defines it as a place where residents figuratively "go to the wall" (face ruin), reflecting period anxieties about stock market crashes. **"Meeting Competition"** depicts a husband confronting his wife about insulting him at a social gathering; she claims she was merely criticizing a gossipy neighbor. **"New-Year Resolutions"** satirizes the universal failure of New Year's pledges through verse, where each resolution—sobriety, exercise, frugality—lasts only until temptation arrives. **"Why He Brought Him Up"** is a pun: a deaf prisoner is brought before a magistrate; the officer says he was told to give him a "hearing." These represent Judge's characteristic light domestic and social satire rather than deep political commentary.
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Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
BEAT IT! SAID an angry young swain to his maid, As home from the strayed, “wish you would turn down Ed Biddle; I don't want to play fiddle." Her reply made him feel very glum, She’ answered, ‘All right; play the drum !"* arty they ond HE KNEW. Wife (laying down the daily paper)--"* Hubby, what's Wall Street?” Hubby "The street in New York where almost all the residents go to the wall.” BELATED. The New Year ** Boo- hoo! I did not get any present !"" Father Time “How could you, my son? You Noes! MA Ts ante | Cont Nervous party—" W-well, tell him to. MEETING COM. PETITION. INE day Mr. Bakseet greet- ed his wife with a very serious fi en't born th stop his skiddin'! began, “* day that you said some very things about me at the tea meeting last week.” His pretty young, wife put her rems neck. round “Love,” she said, it was nothing. That horrid Mrs. a Stylishe was talks speed out of her than this, U'm stuck" too fast! v your life! If bean't ing about her hus- band, and; well, 1 WHY HE BROUGHT HIM UP. just had to say Iraxcible magistrate—-“ Officer, why did you bring this prisoner up something to beat before me? Can't you see he's as deaf as a door nail?” CARRYING A JOKE TOO FAR her”? Policeman ** Oi was told ye'd give him a hearing, sor!"* NEW-YEAR RESOLUTIONS. EN resolutions New Year's Day so fine I One got very thirsty, then th ore lutions, virtuous, sedate; smoked a perfecto, then there were eight. Hight resolutions, le One sat ina little ame, U n resolutions, set agai then ther Six resolutions, trying hard to thriv » a Welsh rabbit, then there we 8, feeling very hoar; One went out to borrow, then there were four. Four resolutions, stiff-backed as could be One went down to Wall Street, then thet thr + were Three ri One xo olutions, quite a sturdy crew; engage ain, then there were two, Two resolutions, holding off from fun: One of them began to speed, then there was one. One resolution missed the rising sun, Busted all to flinders, then there were none. . - Me LANDRURGH WILSON, “A PAIR OF CALF SHOOS.” comicbooks.com