Judge, 1908-12-19 · page 6 of 16
Judge — December 19, 1908 — page 6: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains brief satirical jokes and comic vignettes typical of early 20th-century humor magazines. **Key content includes:** - **"A Modern Reason"**: Mocks William Jennings Bryan (identified as candidate "Bryan"), suggesting he'd become President merely to profit from Chautauqua lecture circuit appearances—satirizing politicians' mercenary motivations. - **Street-car conductor joke**: Satirizes dishonest transit workers who pocket fares without ringing them on registers. - **Gender humor**: Multiple jokes about women's financial irresponsibility and materialism ("she'll marry you when you own property outright"). - **Class commentary**: Jokes about working-class incompetence (the "rubber tree" pressing clothes in a lawyer's office; the inexperienced floor-walker). - **Rural satire**: The Long Island farmer and hungry vagrant represent stock working-class characters. The page satirizes typical early-1900s concerns: political corruption, urban transit fraud, gender relations, class pretension, and economic anxiety—delivered through quick, punchy jokes rather than sustained narratives.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
PLAIN 2 B SEEN. 66Y BU 20 CD in your dress?” Asked the lady of the tramp. ** Because I once drank 2 X S,"" Replied the unwashed scamp. TEACHER'S ORDERS. 66 PJERE, mar” requested the boy, hurrying in from school before time ; “hang my jacket up behind the stove.” “Ts it wet?" “No; but teacher sent me home to tell you to warm my jacket for me!"’ WISE WOMAN. He—* Will you share my lot?"” She—* Yes, when you have a house on it that is paid for.” HIT in time saves the nine, especially along toward the close of the season, “WELL SHAKEN BEFORE TAKEN.” IN THE STREET-CAR. Conductor (to tired passenger) —* Did I get your fare?” Passenger —‘' You must have got it, for the register did not ring when J handed you the nickel."" A MODERN REASON. Back—* What would you do if elected President?” Mryan —* I'd let the Vice- President run the country, and I'd goon the Chautauqua lecture plat- form. There's lots of money in it." ADMISSION . 25 CENTS ' h- df QUESTIONABLE. Weatend—* When a man loses money, we call him ‘ out of pocket,” don’t we?" Murrayhill—* Usually.” Westend—"* Well, when a wo- man loses money, should we call her ‘out of hose’?”” NEARER HOME. Wife (putting down the maga- zine)—‘* This article says that the supply of coal will be gone in one COALS FOR NEWCASTLE. hundred years.” Long Island farmer—" Hi, thar, ye gol Husband— That's nothing! dared airynot! quit yer chuckin’ sand out — : on this farm. ‘The land around here's too A RUBBER TREE. Ours is already gone. sandy already.’ THE MAN NEXT DOOR WAS RIGHT. “ ge” requested the young man, entering with a suit on his arm, “I've brought these clothes for you to press. The man next door says you are a bird at press- ing suits!"” “Well, the man next door is right," replied the suit presser; ‘only this is- n't a tailor shop—it's a law- yer's office !"” EXPERIENCED. Manager (who has ad- vertised for a floor-walker) —"Have you had any ex- perience?” Applicant—* We have COOL CHEEK. had twine in our family Hungry C) “Yer feed's all right, mum ; but 1 must ax yer ter excuse me if I ax yer old man ter go next twice, door fer the pie. She's great on pies.” comicbooks.com