Judge — December 19, 1908 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

“MYOPIA” A Town and Country Shirt possess- ing the meritof being unusual without being freakish. It is a Chute SHIRT creation of more than usual merit. 82 00, | Other styles $1.50 and up. Made rere Lal cuoret Peasoot a ConmihiverstcFe},¥.Y. pn STORIES ABOUT PEOPLE| “Teannot tell how the truth may be; Teay the tale as ‘twas told to me.” LAY OF AN ANCIENT ANECDOTE. Acommon—but, of course, wrong— view of how stories about people grow is told by Success as follows: Three thou- An ancient anecdote I be! sand years ago Egyptian jokesmiths fashioned me to fit their Pharaoh. The old Chaldeans, sportive men, amuse- ‘ment would evince To see me harnessed now and then to potentate or prince. The Middle Ages knew me well; I was) considered g I helped make famous William Tell and] also Robin Hood. The Grub Street wits I did delight; 1 earned for them some pence; ‘And when the New World came to light | Temigrated thence. | An ancient anecdote I be! | coupled with The foremost men of history and ha their kin and kith. I’ve toiled since Humor had its dawn to PROFESSIONAL ADVICE. ing his “You're not strong enough yet.” said the convalescent, ou may send in your Tut, tut!’ replied the M.D., silenc- patient with a wave of his hand. | feed the scribbling craft, And now I s'pose they'll tack me on to William Howard Taft! If you have a sluggish appetite in the morning, half uwrape fruit adding sugar towult the taste, and a teaspoonful of Abbott's Bitters. Nothing better. WELCOMING CHICAGO'S MAYOR. Pte Oc ONIN JAMESON x k * | WHISKEY | 3 NESTOR] ESTOR™ “IMPORTED” “ROYAL NESTOR * from land to land Traverse the lobe You'll always find the NESTOR brand It is certainly a good one on the mayor of Chicago thut the Des Moines Register tells. The mayor, with a merry party of | friends, enjoyed an auto trip across lowa. It was fine summer weather, the country fields abounded with luxurious growth, and the well-kept, springy roads made the trip an exhilarating as well as a speedy one. When nearing Des Moines the mayor, wishing to make sure he was taking the right road toward the capital city, brought the chugging motor to an abrupt stop before a very respectable-appearing farm-house. ‘Halloo, there!” he shouted, obcerv- ing a farmer with broad headgear ener- getically wielding a scythe in a hayfield off from the road. “«*Halloo-o0, there!” again shouted the T have been | THE MUSICAL LIGHT we, = Bvery house shoald have burglar in. earance in the form of a revolver. Protect your home with revolver that fe pot only strai hard-hitting, bat le safe Nothi ‘the hammer"—nothtng doing uatil you pall the trigger. Bend your name on & postal for our booklet "Shot IVER JOWNSON SAFETY MAMMER REVOLVER cal, Richly alckeled, 2 cal. rim- ef, d1n. bbl jormealc f. Eatra length barrel or bloy Bold by Tardware and Sporting Goods dealers ever I deaiee will not supply. R_ JOHNSON How och ws Cuscatessie for the owl's ‘couter dre, fab, at alight extra cosi. sent prepald on recelgt of price ip and our name on the barrel, ed Bat ARMS AND CYCLE WORKS, 153 River Stroot. Fi me AND ove tohburg, Mai rt Co., 717 Market. Hambarg, Ger.: Pickhaben &. Tver Jehasee Single Marrel Shetguas and Iver dahuece Tress Bridge Biereles the fi the caller, But, as before, he ignored the com- mand and went on reaping. put out, the mayor sent his chauffeur into the field after the obstinate reaper. | “**Don’t you see th: tioning to you out the chauffeur, pointing toward his party. was the calm reply. “*Well, he requests that you step to the fence and tell him about the roads to | the gentleman mo- ‘ell that gentleman I’m very busy ; but if he'll come into the field, I'll give him the information." ‘Sir, do you realize who my maste out there is?” “No. Who is he?’ He’s the mayor of Chicago!” “So? Tell him he is doubly welcome in the hayfield. I'm the Governor of Iowa myself!” Mothers will tind Mrs. Winslow Seuting Sup the | . & botth best remedy for their children, GO AND DO LIKEWISE. A celebrated Wesleyan minister, who was fond of the ‘fragrant weed," was on one occasion quietly enjoying a smoke when an elder of the church entered his THAT FAILED. +L know that he is a great artist. ean tell it by his hair demanded the | if city executive, gesticulating vigorously | study, and, seeing him engaged with his ‘mer once more paused to gaze pipe, was particularly shocked at so Somewhat | claimed, ‘*Ay! then you are at your idol | much self-indulgence. The elder lifted up his hands and ex- agai Looking up with one of his quiet yet demure expressions, the minister re- plied, puffing out a cloud of smoke, “Yes; you see I am burning it!”” THE USUAL MEANING. “What does it mean when a ten- | dollar-a-week clerk sends a girl a dozen roses at ‘twelve dollars per’ for Christ- mas?” “It usually means that he has pawned is watch."” PHILIP MORRIS ‘ORIGINAL LONDON CIGARETTES Are just as good today as fifty years ago. AMBASSADOR CAMBRIDGE: 2. “He is touching the keys to get an inspiration.” 3. “Heavens! He is only a piano-tuner.”— ‘Rrons. comicbooks.com