Judge, 1908-12-05 · page 26 of 44
Judge — December 5, 1908 — page 26: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page presents humorous DIY Christmas gift ideas by F.P. Pitzker for the "How To Make" series. The satirical humor targets both gift-giving conventions and absurd domestic creativity. **The Jokes:** The gifts are intentionally impractical and ridiculous—a liverwurst teething ring "to prevent the liverwurst from biting the baby," a cologne bottle holder made from a sock, a jewelry case from limburger cheese, and a button holder fashioned from a shirt bosom. The humor exploits the tension between economical home-crafting (practical during this era) and genuinely awful results. **The Bottom Section:** A brief comic dialogue references "Poets' Hospital" charity collection, with an editor's dark joke that he'd contribute only if an ambulance comes—implying poets are worthless or that solicitation is intrusive. **Context:** This reflects early 20th-century Judge magazine's satirical tone: gently mocking middle-class aspirations, penny-pinching, and sentimental domesticity while maintaining affectionate humor rather than viciousness.
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Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
How To Make Christmas Presents at Home w To Make” series.) LER A Tretuinc Rinc ror Bapy. P an old liverwurst in a cool place for a day or so, and then rivet the ends togeth- Then cover the whole with wursted- oh, pshaw! we mean worsted— wrapping it pund as closely and tightly as possible, This will prevent the liverwurst from biting the baby. Conoxe: Botth®: HoLper. the m st any top where the garter gene urements of the bottle, Then take a iht-dollar-a-week clerk's washing d esa grip with its tin teeth, ‘Then First have a first-class tailor in be found in aln silk sock—one cut off att ly cut a few holes in the top and run some baby ribbon through them, so that the open- | ing can be readily tightencd or loosed, Into the holder thus made slip the botth If the bay is lined with banana skins, the bottle will slip in more easily. If it is to ) be used to hold a flask instead of a cologne bottle, never mind the baby ribbon or the A Jewrt Case. e, and with a stiletto cut out the insides and line with zine, Get a cube of limburger chee Cover the outside with wall paper. Spr with Towne's ny fellows as Bill Nye, Re K. Munkitt W. J. Lampton few days the grower will cause hair to sprout out on all sides and make ft lining. Building: the box from che makes it stronger and a scentsible gift, ul others too humorous fine A Burton Honver. Cut the stiff bosom from your father’s or husband's best shirt. Tie a ribbon to the name plate at the bottom, and rolling it upward, tie the same through the excavation his dollar-twenty-five stud usually rests, Close up the sof the cylinder thus mi saye skin, and cut a hole in the top just large Do not make it too large, or it 1 a le with rough to Js of tobacco, or other emblems of m Baby ribbon can dangle all around it, like a Boe When finished, varnish the whole th ‘This syrup will cateh pf the buttons, ng with maple syrup. i hold any burglarious flies that might call to steal x Book- MARKERS. Perhaps the best ti we have ever seen were ten chubby little bread-and-jam-covered fingers that evaded 1 walked up the shelves of our bookease one day, little fin the its nurs But, of ¢ hous rie, every one hasn't these the followings method of mak- ya handy bi ker. Cuta picce of birch bark from an wide and four inches long. Any ugh to permit you to car y strike you with his trunk, After you have cut out a pic won one end of it until it has the re and then with a red-hot poker burn an rs a pie of the proper siz ff motto in the left-hand corner, such as“ D: plane the Trusts," ** Let Well Enough Alon | other quotation appropriate for a quiet home, burn tt these mottoes in the hi ore it ix taken from the elephant. aad (acne rae 1 We know of only one man who tried todo this, and now he is Her neck was like the graceful swan's in a place where his poker stays continually red-hot. Uloved her. Wouldn't you? SAVAGE. Caller—* Sir, 1 am collecting for the Poets’ Hospital. Will you contribute anything itor With p) Call to-night with the ambu- } lance and I will have son ” OOM \ comicbooks.com