Judge, 1908-12-05 · page 18 of 44
Judge — December 5, 1908 — page 18: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains several standalone humor pieces mocking domestic life and Christmas customs: **"Getting Even"**: A husband receives worthless Christmas gifts (ugly tie, unsmokable cigars, ill-fitting bathrobe) from "Santa." He retaliates by telling children Santa doesn't exist, undermining the gift-giver's credibility. **"A Humane Man"**: A husband hoards moth-eaten clothes, claiming sympathy for the moths that infest them—satirizing false sentimentality masking poor household management. **"One Left"**: A child receives a baby sister as a gift, noting it's the only present her father hasn't already broken. **"Hope You're Not One"**: Defines a "ten-o'clocker" as someone so forgettable you don't remember them until the night before Christmas, when obligated to send greetings. The overall theme: domestic disappointment and hypocrisy during the holiday season. These are cynical jabs at marriage, gift-giving, and social pretense dressed as humor.
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Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
GETTING EVEN. ‘THE ROMANCE OF A PAIR OF R. KILLJOY awakens along SKATES, ' ubout three o'clock Christ- mas morning, and to his great anta Claus at his THE SENTIMENTAL NATURE FAKER, sury bedsid “ What are you doing here?” he asks, T have brought you Santa, ‘a yellow necktie of pink, a pipe that some cigars bles that origi- d for stewing, cross str hams, a bathrobe that you can't 4 get into, and half a dozen ‘ ooking Christmas “What! Why in the name of tim unload that junk on m n't you give me something, worth having.?”” 7 a “| nta retorted fiercely been going around among the children for a month or so, telling: them th isn’t any such man as Santa Claus."* A HUMANE MAN. anded him his evening They had been y all summer with a assailed hin “Wh asked the wife “To am thinking of these “Tt seems te ought to look pleased, ‘There are certainly no moths in them,"? “Its my sympathetic na- said the man, ‘1 Sometimes it | ture,’ not helj tremes, asin Of course me to absurd the present in I'm glad the moths but," he added, with a deep sisgh ry must have found it ath!" ar gone, ONE LEFT. SEGANTA CLAUS brought me a little baby sister for es fides: the small Christ girl from next d “He did? answers the ne 4; an’ it's th’ only pres- ol that papa Ir 1 was fine!" wor. ent me an’ Freddie hasn't broken are: up an’ showin’ us how it runs,"* HOPE YOU'RE NOT ONE. ey friends and rel; mas, but not v he is a te ker." “A ten-o'clocker?" asks the dd listener, ** What is 3 Miggglesby is usually memb ed by his ns on Christ. | . * Hv Toot that? ; “A ten-o'clocker is some- . i) 2 body you forget all about until 2 And condemns the human hunter. But after all, there isn’t ten o'clock the night before 4 | much choice Christmas.”* Divorced. comicbooks.com