Judge, 1908-12-05 · page 13 of 44
Judge — December 5, 1908 — page 13: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains multiple humorous pieces typical of Judge's satirical format: **"I Flee My Pen"** is a poem by Charles Hattell Loomis describing a writer's need to escape mental fatigue by leaving his desk for outdoor activity—comparing himself to piglets breaking free from a sty. **"Fairly Good Size"** depicts a comic dialogue about a wealthy uncle's Christmas gift: an engraved cheek (likely a bank check). The joke hinges on the irony that a rich man gave money rather than a tangible gift, with the added humor that the cheek was "engraved for himself specially"—suggesting the uncle had it custom-made, emphasizing his miserliness. **"His Heart's Desire"** satirizes a grandfather's reputation as a miser ("Tightpurse"), with a grandson asking a shopman for "imported Russian bombs" as a gift—dark humor suggesting violence against the stingy old man. **"The Journey's Beginning"** appears to be a longer narrative poem about a saint's journey. **"Reciprocity"** shows a bargaining dialogue about freezing someone to death in exchange for firewood—crude frontier humor about economic trade-offs.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
I FLEE MY PEN. FLEE my pen when heavy grows the brain, When for a happy rhyme I search in vain, The ink-well closed, the pen laid in its place, I seek for otker scenes in outer space. What though the wind be keen, what though it rain? Lasked a change, nor can I well compl If by awetting I my end attain. So at a steady, blood-be- warming pact flee my pen. just as piglets see a ting lane Leading to meadows, ripe with golden grain, Break from their sodden sty, and grunting, race, Glad to escape their confi pent and base I for the taste I gain I flee my pen. = CHARLES HATTELL LOOMIS, 8 r freedom that \ ee \ FAIRLY GOOD SIZE. 66] HEARD that your rich uncle ave you a srood- k for Christmas,” Yes," answers the on with the square chin and the sglad smile, “L suppo: Aman us 4 pretty he is could send ck?" “Yes, ‘This was a sgood- hig € sized one, for graved for himself specially, you know.”* HIS HEART'S DESIRE. Fasthoy—" 1 want to. buy something for my grandfather's : aon Christmas — old Tightpurse, you know. Shopman—** Ye what is your i simple or elegant?” Fasthoy—* Wave you any imported Rus: bombs?” sir, Now, something. THE JOURNEY’S BEGINNING. HEN the good saint sails from the very north And a mermaid blow: W {o the shore where his steeds are standing, On a wave-tosse¢ TT 8 sing like a deep bassoon, And she sighs toa rulls croon, ** The foes old Kri balloon, But why should he stop for us, 3 As it flits toward the frozen landing. When none of us wears a stock its back, ack, TOE helps the man Ips himself. RECIPROC! would you object to my freezi not if you'd be willing to saw » death in your woodshed * . little wood to pay for the accommodation ! Weary Wragyls—" Lad Ars. Halpem—* Well comicbooks.com