Judge — November 21, 1908 — page 12: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

From Our MATRIMONIAL CATECHISM. * What is marriage? Marriage is an institution for blind. Why do some people n Be wi what happens? » remains singh Should a man marry a girl for her| noney? No. But he should not let her be an ich. ‘ld maid just because she's When a girl refers to a ship, what does she mean? ng that the man got away. It's bette. In selecting a husband, girl prefer a fat man? Because a fat man finds it hard stoop to anything low, When asking papa, young man act? how should give him a chance at his back. n the minister says, ‘Do you ta this woman for better or for worse? does he mean? construe ly interp) way, and the brid it another, It is When a man wife, what doe He me: thing she wants to. When a child ix am: whose family is it duc? To its mother When a child is t whose family is it du We refuse to answer, Is it possible for a married man to a fool without knowing it? Not if his w hyterian, he mean? ‘t and good, 1 and stupid, United Pri ca est cool — ~*~ — LAUGHS AND SMILES marry? ause they do not believe in divorce ‘naman thinks seriously of mar- sad court- agement as good as a mar- why does a Id face papa manfully and ns he can make her do any-| Contemporaries. GAVE HER AWAY. | ‘The west-bound omnibus was crowded | the and the occupants were listening with interest to the high-toned conversation of two stylishly dressed ladies, one of whom was accompanied by a little boy. Soon they knew that one of the speakers |had recently moved into a “larger house | farther west.”* “Do you know, dear’? she said, ‘*w had such a trying time getting things into order on the last occasion we moved that this time we just handed the house over to——- & Co., and they did every- thing. My husband and I went touring on the continent until things were in | order." At this point “* sonny,’? with hi close to the window pane, yelled mummy, look nose ook, | Such an observant child!” sn to his mother. Percy?’ | mummy !"" and he pointed toa | a individual on the pave- ‘8 the man who comes e furniture mon for the change. ake | GOOD BUSINESS. An enterprising commercial t attempted to bribe a country n it ret | dlae bus . Nonsensi j if you have any consclentious scrupl to| You may pay me a shilling for th “Weel, weel aid the hor k igs bs} two boxe: York Globe, THAT'S WHO RULES! tious friend (teasingly) h rules—you or your w Youngied (with hauteur) rt we can afford to keep ac American, shop- —New tak’ to F be | whi Mr, ea | fo THANKSGIVING If you have indigestion, or lack appetite, nothing will help you as surely as UNDERBERG BITTERS. It is a delicious, refreshing, bracing, cordial-tonic, famous for more than sixty years, and is “ Ask always the same.” “UNDERBERG.” Enjoyable as a Cocktail and Better for You for Over 7.000.009 Bottles Imported to the Dee ely by. Deer sec, belo. berg, German | LUYTIES uscruces; | 204 William Street, New York, Sole Agents. the house, Fido! 1 some than usual. my mind so long, change ‘The car was packed, Next moment marred her me L I a 3G, = Bathe in Comfort A warm bath in a cold room is a “shivery" operation and is extremely liable to cause colds. ‘The bathroom above all should be kept warm. ‘This is easy and the bath is a comfort if you have a ERFECTION Oil Heater (Equipped with Smokeless Device) It may be carried from any other room to the bath room, which it will heat while you are pre of the bath. Impossible to turn it too nign oF too low, J heater you can buy—intense heat for 9 hours wi very heater war- ranted. steady I is the best lamp for all- round household pur- poses, Gives a clear, Made of brass throughout and nickel plated. Equipped erik the Eecot Improved cenal disfs barnes, Hand: some—simple—satisfactory. Every lamp guaranteed. If you cannot get heater and lamp at your dealer's, write to our nearest agency. STANDARD OIL COMPANY ( corporated) STRATEGY. NOT THAT COLOR, Willie lost his pet dog and was much| — Rudrick—“Great Scott! Has Bilkins distressed. He spent his time search-| lost his mind ing for it, and so often did he run into! Van Albert—“1 don’t. think so, rying, ‘Come quick; there's | Why?”” aw him!’ the family grew| —Rodrick—Just look at the illumini dub on in his house! He has had every One day Will jet burning all day long.”” “M Van Albert-—"Oh, that's just a little rr scheme Bilkins has to increase his a not,’? rep bill this month. His wife is coming “It must have been | back to-morrow, and he told her he had , been remaining at home and reading rieved. |every night since she went away. If guess | she looked at the gas-bill and found it to rushed in more excited | ga: mma, mamma!" bh “Oh, no; T gues tt mother, , much ag; ndignantly, said my "magination isn’t white behind.’’— | be only thirty-two cents, he would be Exchange. | cornered for an explanation.’’—Chicago Ne A SHIFTED BURDEN. | 0 you sold that miserable old mute | THE SURE THING. |_ “Charley, dear,’ said young Mra. 1 Mr. Erastus Pink-|Torkins, “I'do hope Mr. Bryan will run | again, weigh on your con-| ‘Why?’ “Because when Mr. Bryan runs it “Well, boss, I's done had dat mule on | makes it so much ¢ it’s kind of a relief t ff an’ git him on my conscience Washington Star, for you to bet on the man who is going to win."”—Er. POWER OF MUSIC. | Woman (to her neighbor)—*What |makes you cry so bitterly, my dear She took my seat; | friend?” ok of rancor Neighbor— I ce sosweet— hear music. My late husband used to Thad forgot to thank her! blow the whistle at the factory. Catholic Times, | Meggendorfer Blactter. THOUGHTLESS MAN. But what a | “I always weep when POLITICAL. “I thought she was a suffragett SIMPLE. Knicker-**Why do women stand for she simply attends political such gown: to get a chance to kiss the Mrs. Knicker—*Because they can't candidates,""—Detroit Free Press, sit down,""—New York Sun. WE REGRET THAT, ETC. | What about this pocm| in this morning, Me k ‘My Ow: ‘ditor—*Oh, do as the author bids."” CAUGHT. “‘Hear the story about the peo- ‘No; what is it? “No point to it!’ comicbooks.com