Judge, 1908-11-14 · page 6 of 16
Judge — November 14, 1908 — page 6: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page from *Judge* magazine contains several satirical pieces mocking human vanity and hypocrisy: **"The Stuttering Sonneteer"** ridicules an overly romantic working-class man ("counter-jumper"/shop clerk) who composes grandiose poetry despite a severe stammer—satirizing pretentious attempts at genteel culture by the lower classes. **"An Utter Impossibility"** mocks ministers on a snowbound train. When one challenges others to name something God cannot do, a drummer claims God cannot widen a man's mouth without moving his ears back—humbling the clergy's presumption. **"Canceling the Obligation"** shows a man attempting to drown his daughter (the life he "saved") to repay the tramp who rescued him from drowning—absurdist humor about financial obligation taken to ridiculous extremes. **"Ninety-Eight in the Shade"** shows soldiers trembling with cold despite heat, unable to stop chattering teeth—likely mocking nervous soldiers' inability to control their bodies under fire. All pieces employ exaggeration and social commentary typical of early 20th-century satirical humor.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
THE STUTTERING SONNETEER. Soulful Songs of the Humble Counter.jumper to the Haughty Sales! RY BUSAUSHAM &. SUSSURNTINSON. ND new kuk-comes the bub-bub-bitter time, When dud-dud-darkness throws her pup-pup- Across the path on which I kuk-kuk-craw! To reach my gug-gug-goal-—your love sublime. ‘The dud-dud-day is done, still up 1 climb, And brave the sh-sh-shadows that inthrall My lul-lul for you, my own, my ail, The inspiration of my rah-rah-rhyme, I know my speech is mum-mum-mum-mur But still my heart Leats tut-tut-tut-tut-tru And that's what mum-mum-makes it very hard ‘To sus-sus-say, my love, a-dud duc-dieu. So tut-tut-take this sonnet from your bard, Until to-morrow bub-bub-brings me you! arred, EEING THE Johnny — That low building on the and the high structure on the left is the new Low Buil Uncle Peter- juess we'd better git hack to the house, Johnny, I'm ‘fraid I'm gittin® twisted.” IGHTS. ht, Uncle Peter, is our high school, AN UTTER IMPOSSIBILITY. PASSENGER train, running between Worcester A and Boston in the olden days, was snowbound, Aboard one car were many ministers traveling to attend a convention in the latter city. The delay alarmed the nd gentlemen, es- pecially because some of the » to appear early on the convention programme, Finally one of their number—a wizened little man with a squeaky, high-pitched voice—-felt. moved to exhort the brethren: "* Brothers, this is all for the It is to test our faith. God can get us to t nt can melt the snow with one breath of His nostrils, 1 thing. one in this car think of anything the Lord can’t do? If so, let him speak right out."” pbody at first responded to this challenge, It was therefore re- rightened f At last there arose at ed old drt ir * conv non time. can do every: wed with vor. end of the car a larg. r, with th much deeper. 1 know n, hot a minister, WOULD SPOIL PE ALL size of a regu- * When we ai but a well-sease married L will put all my property is LF even the “Abt voice, * we nd with a voi jon bars drum, pre things thet n't do,” he thundered. the squeaky last fa word 1a n who knows something. the prother, tell at the Lord Lord do, Now us all what it is t "t de The Lord can’t make your mouth any wider without moving rs farther back." CANCELING THE OBLI- GATION. 6EYOU have save Y said the old n the tramp had saved from d: your e my life!" . whom * anced at the ~ ent again over ife-saver x daughter, then the old man. “What are you doing?" asked the perplexed father. “Going to drop you in - ; Z “7 cine eat. : 1 evs ENTIRELY IN ACCORD. Edith" Well, 1 shouldn't fo be in your sh Madge NINETY-EIGHT IN THE SHADE. PUES ; ais ~“ Here, you, Muggins! what are your teeth chatteti | pinch, dear, wouldn't they ins Mfrst time under fire—" C-e-can't help it, eapn—t'm ee-cold They would comicbooks.com lady. pel t