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Judge, 1908-11-14 · page 14 of 16

Judge — November 14, 1908 — page 14: what you’re looking at

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Judge — November 14, 1908 — page 14: Judge, 1908-11-14

What you’re looking at

This is primarily an **advertising and miscellaneous content page** from Judge magazine, with several short humorous pieces scattered among ads. The main satirical content includes brief jokes: - **"Perfectly Safe"**: A crude domestic joke about a man installing a calf's tail through a door to demonstrate to his wife that "armless women" can pass through safely—absurdist humor mocking marital dynamics. - **"It Puzzled Him"**: A tanyard owner puts up a sign with a calf's tail sticking through a hole. A philosopher stands puzzling over it for an hour, unable to determine how the calf passed through—gentle absurdist humor about overthinking. - **"In Common"**: An editor tells a writer their punctuation resembles another author's, suggesting unoriginality. - **"Another Hope Blasted"**: A one-liner satirizing American imperial ambitions in the Philippines, joking that America hoped Japan would steal them (avoiding American responsibility). The page otherwise contains advertisements for whiskey, soap, hotels, and cigarettes typical of early 1900s Judge magazine layout. The Christmas Judge issue announcement dominates the center, listing contributors.

📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

OLD OVERHOLT RYE A STRAIGHT WHISKEY, MADE TO. DAY THE SAME AS IT WAS IN 1810—AL- MOST A CEN- TURY AGO. ALOVERHOLT 6 CO, Pittsburg, Pa ESTABLISHED 1810 GAD) You Can Make Ge) BIO MONEY when you ask for soap. There are other soaps, of » but Pears’ is best for you and matchless for the complexion. ve ran buy Pe If mo, take alvantaxe nf tndlay's opportu man alone the Pa Coast Extenti i the Chicago, Milwaukee © St. Poul Railway Caerey MAKING HIM USEFUL. any miles tos np, “becwu "ve walked * began t said the genial, white- “Are you going back just’ contradict tl rumor 4s you go, will you? Good-morn ing.” —-Milieanke y to yourself bel know isn't true is to thing ye one of your politic NESTO CIGARETTES “IMPORTED” “ROYAL wet, Lr Brand of Over 30 Years" Reputation. principles. NESTOR” IT PUZZLED HIM. The proprietor of a tanyard was anx- e sign to his prem- PERFECTLY SAFE. “Pa afet: Mr, Henp if his wife ety mateh, rd arries atch?" refully to ious to fix a sui is within hearing)—°A Finally . is when a d- ded armless) woman !"* whatisa him. He bored a hole through the doorpost and stuck a calf's tail into it, with the tufted end outside we His ar . After a while he saw a solemn-faced “Why be se wrapped up in purely ™an standing near the door, looking at ary. considerations?” said the the sign, ‘The tanner watehed him a persuasive campaigner, "Why not join Mitute, and then stepped out and ad- dressed him, od-morning, d fight for th Young man,”’ anawered Mr, Dustin Stax, ‘I'm not fighting for causes; I'm fighting for results.""— Washington Star. sir," he said. Jood-morning, ”’ said the other, with- out taking his eyes off the sign, “Do you want to buy leathe tanner. haps you've got some hides to asked th IN COMMON. “There are some writings that resembl editor. “Do you think so?" ¢1 lighted author "Yes," the editor continued; “you employ almost the same punctuation marks.""—Stray Sturiex, points about your Milton,"" said the you a farmer?" the de- “What are you, then? “Lam a philosopher. I've been stand- ing here for nearly an hour, trying to find out how that calf got through that hole,""—Philadelphia Inquirer. OLD IN CRIME. The lady—* Little boy, don't smoking will shorten your life The kid—"Shucks! Wot do 1 care? I’ve seen everyt’ing dere is." Er. ANOTHER HOPE BLASTED. . One hope must be abandoned: We cannot get Japan to steal the Philip- pines.—Baltimore Sun. ou know No single issue of any other magazine under the sun ever had such an array of contributors as appears in the CHRISTMAS Mudge. other magazines have the space for it. We are aware that names nd some of the best humor that appears is the work of new and own writers. In this great holiday annual is the cream of t to prove Christmas pudding by tasting it; but just by way of indicating what is in store for you, here are a few names of those better-k morists who have contribated 4 laugh to the Christmas SUDGE, in picture, prose or verse, for your delectation. They ate scarcely half of the list, and all live up to their reputations is number for wit and jollity. WRITERS: Oliver Herford, Gelett Burgess, Carolyn Wells, Wilbur D. Nesbit, Elliott Flower, Charles Battell Loomis, Albert Bigelow Paine, William J. Lampton, In the firet place fe aren't everyt comparatively everything, John Kendrick Bangs, Tudor Jenks, Ed Mott, Tom Masson, Robertus Love, Victor A. Hermann, F. P. Pitzer, Perrine Lambert, Roy K, Moulton, Lurana Sheldon, Edwin L! Sabin, Hugh Pendexter, Porter Emerson Browne, Burges Johnson’ ARTISTS: 3. M. Fla; ewell, A. B, Frost, J. R. Bray, Louis Wain, H. C. Greening, Arthur Dove, Florence Scovel Shinn, Charles Sarka, Arthur Lewis, Otto Lang, HI. A. Petersen, John Conacher, Arthur Jameson, Nellie Meyer, Frederick Richardson, Jack Sears, Walt Kahn, Will Crawford, Bob Addams, Aug. Hutaf, Laura E. Foster, J. 11. Smith, Fred Lewis, Percy D. Johnson, Grant E. Hamilton, E. Flori, Eugene Zimmerman ON SALE DECEMBER 2D. ORDER OF YOUR DEALER IN ADVANCE. Only 25 Cents FOR Drawn by FLY. Cory This Picture in Sepia “Tis better to have loved and lost Than never to have loved at all happy thought struck | ! ARRY L HROWN Fireproct TO THE RESCUE. ‘Send "your quarter to-day JUDGE COMPANY | 225 Filth Avenue New York City . OL Third Ave. N.Y. ‘ yyright, 1907, by Judge Ca, UNREQUITED LOVE sx alogue sent for eight cents Supplied by the Anderson Publishing Mustrated C. v “Writing to Charley?” “Yes.” “I thought he was engage “He writes me that his girl has thrown him overboard, so I'm dropping i — Kansas City Journal. Hoffman House MADISON SQUAIGE NEW YORK Absolutely Fireproot ‘CADDAGAN NEW AMSTERDAM HOTEL 4th Ave. and 21st St., New York NEW BATHS and PLUMBING Moat Convenient Location in City From 23ed Street railroad ferries or from Grand Central Station, take care direct to eaters. SPECIAL RATES MADE comicbooks.com