Judge — November 7, 1908 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Lipp ara Aovamss / ki ma’am.”? SOCIETY. lies. LAGNIAPPE. WHY JOYNER 66] UNDERSTAND that Mr. Pennink is making a tremendous LEFT HOME. , Selling short stories to the magazines,"’ remarks the ¢¢ Are you ready man with the frayed collar. to receive the ‘Yes. He's a smooth one,” replies the man with the leaky obligations?”’ asked succes fountain pen. the Most Upright Su- “* He must be, to sell his stories. I don't see anything about preme Hocus- Pocus them to make the magazine editors crazy to buy them."” of the Order of Hoot “Well, he has a gift of rhyming, you know, and when Owls, he sends a short story to a magazine he throws in a poem of the “Tam,” said right brevity to fill the candidate firmly. the bottom of the “Then take a page on which the sip of this prussic story will end. acid, place your right hand in this pot of boiling lead, reat JUVENILE your left hand upon WISDOM. this revolving buzz- saw, close your eyes, 66 YHATAid peo- ee . W ce repeat after fore steel pens were invented?” asked the “The pinions of headed west. one goose were used She would roll up her eyes, tremity of the . And would darling and ducky and dearie ‘em. class. WOMAN'S RIC THE HAIROIC POET. E wrote a sonnet to his lady's hair. He vowed that it was finer than spun gold; ‘That summer sunshine could not be more fair, For it the sunshine’s rarest gleams could hold. He sighed full deeply in his sore despair Because he could not get the praises told Of her bright ringlets, which had formed a snare ‘To mesh his heart within their argent fold. Alas! One day a willful gust of wind 5 Came pranking by and left her head all bare! No more in praise of curls his lute he'll piteh, For that bold breeze, ungentle and unkind, Had proven to him that concerning hair He did not know exactly which was switch. W. D, NESBIT. WHAT HE MEANT. your husband any more, Abrams—** I don't 8 Mrs. Isaacs." Mrs, Isaacs—** No; my husband iss sick."" Abrams—-‘* How iss he getting along?’ Mrs, Isancs—** He iss failing fast.”* Abrams—** didn't inquire about his business, How iss his health?"" YOUNG AMERICA'S EXPLANATION. COREL “CONNECTED “ M* child, your head is all perspiration!"” The parson—'* Are you—er—interested in foreign missions “Yes, ma: my roof leaks.” The layman—* You bet! 1m president of a cartridge factory. THE FAIR GRAFTER. GHE had quite « passion for whit, ‘And few were the tricks that she missed, If you chanced to get heated And claimed that she cheated, She smiled so you couldn’t insist. TRYING TO SHUT HER OUT. * complained the lank spin- Hye 66 ConbucTor, Z Se ELE g ster passenger, ‘ that man in the oppo- oth site seat is winking at me! “* He says he doesn't mean to wink at you,”” explained the car official. ‘He's trying to p the eye that's turned toward you shut, ‘ [ONOR and place fi e ition rise. “What bird-power do you suppose that machine has?” H Act seal your pit, tats alah oeectige Early next morning shreds of Joyner’s clothing were found upon : the bushes and trees all along the road to Pottsville, thirty miles dis- seacher: tant, and at Scrabbletown, sixty miles away, he was reported still to spread the opin- MUSHY MIRIAM. ions of another,’ an- SOULFUL young woman named Miriam, swered the wise boy Whene'er she had beaux would quite weary ’em. at the pedal ex- With languishing sighs comicbooks.com