Judge — November 7, 1908 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

PHILIP MORRIS ‘ORIGINAL LONDON CIGARETTES The first choice of the critical for over half a century. AMBA! after CAMBRIDGE regular size AND TURN ABOUT IS FAIR PLAY. Charitable man (to beggar woman pushing her crippled husband in a wheel- “And do you push your poor helpless husband about in this chair all | day long?” Beggar woman—‘Oh, no! We take turn about !""—Meggendorfer Blaetter. SYMPATHETIC. Young wife (rather nervously) —*Oh, cook, I must really speak to you, Your master is always complaining. One day it is the soup, the second day it is the fish, the third day it is the joint—in fact, it is always something or other.” Conk (with feeling "Well, mum, sorry for you. It must be q fal to live with a gentleman of that Philadelphia Inqu ha sort.”” AWFUL. uple were of the color of the © your husband with hav- edly with his ¢ of the woman, . your honor,”” she answered x’ months!"" ‘shouted the judge. ck-hand outrages have got ~ ROVAL NESTOR” Tue tate ry fists?” “ImpoRteD inal Brand of Over 30 Years’ Reputation. 7 TIPS. r speculate Oh, yes; once I built a handsome house on tips I got from a friend of reame of it?"* ¢ waiter at the restaurant I al- at bought it on tips he got Exchange. from me."" 2 ONE ON MR. SANKEY. A story, told by the late Ira D. San-) key on himself, and published in the Boston Herald in 1894, has been revived the evangel fh. One day a he entered a musle-box shop The salesman graciously showed him a number, but none was what he wanted. you none that he asked. ** answered the salesman, “we hat play a kind of half-way . Sankey. Sankey hymns! people see in boxes T can’t imag! them, but that play them. "e a matter of business, you know, with s.""—New York Tribune. NONE LEFT ALIVE. Senator Beveridge, in the course of an eloquent after-dinner speech in Boston, said of child labor, “When we consider the indifferen with which so many of our great men look upon the child-labor evil, we can’t help wondering if these men are so very tor Beveridge paused and smiled. ‘An orator," he said, ‘was addr: recounted the people’s wrongs. Then he passionately cried, “Where are America’s great men? Why don’t they take up the cudgel in Jour defense? In the face of our mani- | fold wrongs, why do they remain cold, immovable, silent?’ ““*Because they're all cast in bronze,’ shouted a cynic in the rear.” | American, NO DISAPPOINTMENT HERE. A man who had been convicted of stealing was brought before a certain “down-East"” judge known for his nder-heartedness, sentenced. “Have you ever b need to im- prisonment?”” asked the judge not un- kindly er!” exclaimed the suddenly bursting into tears, prisoner, “Wel don’t ery, my man," said iis bonoe ca olingly; “you're going. to be now."" rybuly’s. \ i} AT THE CRATER'S EDGE. He (gazing into the crater)—Isn't jit appalling, Amelia? Just think of the stupendous power stored there, the in- calculable heat.” She—"That reminds me—did you re- | member when you wrote mommer to tell her to have the furnace fixed before we get back?""—Brooklyn Life. | AT THE BAR. “Do I understand you to say, Mrs, O'Brien, that your husband drinks ex- cessivel yo" ‘0, judge, your. honor; he don’t dhrink excissively, It's always whis- key.""—Chicago Record-Herald. | FROM GEORGIA. orgia,’’ said the came from the “That's where I want to come from,’? said the youth, ‘tan’ mighty quick, too.”” | Atlanta Constituticm, NEEDED. __ Edward prayed on Dear God, « ‘way off in Send your nd J of papa in stay here with me." play sacred ing an assemblage of the people. He! -Baltimore HAT the American public re- quires a telephone service that is universal is becoming plainer every day. Now, while people are learning that the Bell service has a broad national scope and the flexibility to meet the ever varying needs of telephone users, they know little of how these results have been brought about. The keynote is found in the motto—"“ One policy, one system, universal service.” Behind this motto may be found the American Telephone and | Telegraph Company—the so-called “parent” Bell "Company. A unified policy is obtained be- cause the American Telephone and Telegraph Company has for one-of its functions that of a holding com- pany, which federates the associated companies and makes available for all what is accomplished by each. As an important stockholder in the associated Bell companies, it assists them in financing their ex- tensions, and it helps insure a sound and uniform financial policy. A unified system is obtained be- cause the American Telephone and | Telegraph Company has for one of its functions the ownership and maintenance of the telephones used by the 4,000,000 subscribers of the associated companies. One Policy One System Universal Service In the development of the art, it originates, tests, improves and pro- tects new appliances and secures economies in the purchase of sup- plies. It provides a clearing-house of standardization and thus insures economy in the construction of equipment, lines and conduits, as well as in operating methods and legal work—in fact, in all the func- tions of the associated companies which are held in common. oe 8 Universal, comprehensive service is obtained because the American Telephone and Telegraph Company has among its other functions the construction and operation of long distance lines, which connect the systems of the associated companies intoa unified and harmonious whole. Itestablishes a single, instead of a divided, responsibility in inter-state connections, and a uniform system of operating and accounting; and secures a degree of efficiency in both local and long distance service that no association of independent neighboring companies could obtain. Hence it can be seen that the American Telephone and Telegraph Company is the active agency for securing one policy, one system, and universal service—the three factors which have made the telephone ser- vice of the United States superior to that of any other country. American Telephone & Telegraph Company WHO SNEEZED? There was a tall Russia Wumiskiliviskivitchusk You may say his name twice If you think it sounds nice, But I bet it will make your voice husky. Canadian Courier. HE HAS TO. Wi Well, when a man is always m new friends what is that a sign of? Wagg—"'It’s gene old friends are onto him Record, A man can’t talk back to his den’ | and he doesn’t dare to his barbe: named Muswi- igg—"'So you believe in signs, eh? a sign that his —Philadelphia Ex. | A TRIFLE AIRISH. “Don’t need a quilt at all,"’ we growl, But ere the night is over, We start upon a ghostly prow! | To find some extra cover. —Birmingham Age-Herald. | | ON TICK. Bill—''Is that watch your father gave you ten years ago still doing good serv- ice?"’ JSill—" Yes, for the twentieth Opinion. 1 pawned it again to-das a Londot | ‘The more aces a man holds the more hi thinks it’s because he plays them so well. comicbooks.com