Judge — October 31, 1908 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

A CAUTIOUS MAIDEN. E TOOK a stroll in Arcady, in Arcady, in Arcady, We took a stroll in Arcady one lovely autumn day. We walked in lane and parkady, And listened to the larkady Who killed all care and carkady With merry roundelay. We strolled till after darkady, ter darkady, ter darkady, We strolled till after darkady had shadowed all the way. But it was damp in Arcady, And I began to barkady, And sneeze like any sharkady With the pneumoniay. I coughed like any Snarkady, ny Snarkad I coughed like any Snarkady with influenziay. My Sweetheart made remarkady, “Let's get aboard our arkady'! Oh, Strephon, to me harkady, ‘And sail from here away. y Snarkady, tiful in Aready, in Arcady, in Arcady, "Tis beautiful in Arcady, but, oh, my lover, pray, Hereafter let us sparkady At Quogue or Menlo Parkady, Or Binghamton, New Yarkady; Along the soft Ozarkady, Metuchen, Hackensackady, Or on the Hacmatackady— I care not where or whatady Its name or humble lotady, If it be cold or hotady, As long as here 'tis notady ; For in this famous spots We'll get malariay.” NoACt: DODD GasTIT. GOSSIP FROM THE ZOO. HE horned horse's wife has a gnu baby. T The tailor bird denies that he made the short pants the Esquimau dog’s breath comes in. The fact is being commented upon that, although the prairie dog is a born gopher, he never goes near the lynx. ‘The new orang-outang is such a funny simian that there is much speculation as to whether his other name isn’t Ford. The mongoose’s husband ha notice that he is not to be addressed as mongander, or he will fight. ‘The lyre bird indignantly resents the insinuation that she is re- lated to the harpy eagle. The polar bear weeps when he thinks of the arctic whales and seals. He says they always did make him blubber, though. The osprey in the aviary got hungry for fish the other day, and bit a chunk out of the basswood perch. The folks at the snake house are talking of getting the jocular ape to give the rusty old Texas moccasin a monkey shi The American eagle says it is a sad reflection for him when he thinks how bald he is, and remembers all the hare he has had. ‘The jocular ape believes that the reason the gia thin is that there are no giant ants here for him to cat. set mer of idl t anteater ix so The pert paroquet says the great horned owl is on the blink. But then the paroquet grew up in a land that is always bowery. The sand-hill erane stuck his long beak throuyh the wicket in the di “Hello, bill!” ep Morr. GRATEFUL. unusually appreciative of anything that had done for him. “Lam more indebted to you than Ican ever re- he wrote to his QUOTATION FROM SHAKESPEARE. “ Farewell! eeryou are in splendid form,’’ says the leader of the band to the bass drummer, 88 you have lost none of your technique. d all the time?” “* Haven't touched my drumstick since we closed the season."* pay, tailor. MIND your own busi- = ~ ne if you don’t PHRASE FROM MELODRAMATIC FICTION, another will. ** Pursued by wwnamable horrors!" THE NEW ORDER. “ A" my lad," says the kindly old man to the manly little fellow, ** 1 see that you wear a pin inscribed S. P.C. A. It is indeed gratifying to see one so young aligning him- self with the forces that protect and cherish the dumb brute and ''—— “* That isn’t the Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals badge, sir,"’ interrupts the bright lad. ‘Us boys whose fathers are running for President have joined in an organi- zation called the Sons of Presidential Candi- dates in America, with the purpose of systema- tizing the work of doing and saying things that will get into the special dispatches.” PITY SHE COULDN'T. 666] CANNOT sing the old songs now," she warbled at the piano. “Then shut up,” muttered the old-fash- ioned curmudgeon in the corner, “* for the new ones are something fierc: “Thou art too dear for my possessior KEEPING IN PRACTICE. “*T must compliment you that after a sum- Have you “But you must have done something to retain your ability unimpaired as you hav Well, I put in most \ of the summer beating car- THE ONLY REMEDY. Mrs, Cohen—"* 1 don't know what todowith Jakey. He always keeps me awake, talking in hi Mr. Cohen (taconi ly)—"* Tie his hand “HUH!” moy Mary Ann's dhress- sez she hovs th’ loines fur showin’ off an Impoire dhress in th’ naburhood."* Mrs. Finnigan (sarcas- tically) —‘* Huh! An’ is Mary Ann takin’ in wash- in’ now—uh?” comicbooks.com