Judge — October 24, 1908 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

REFLECTIONS OF UNCLE EZRA. T IS not known who will I run for sheriff of our county this fall, as every- body seems to be engaj in runnin’ away from him at this writin’, T. Egbert Peavey, who is M. Cohan of these parts, has sent to New York for a new pair of dancin’ pumps. Huh! who ever see a pump Luther Burbank is quite rd, all right, to go lance? Hilliker cut his thumb while slicin’ dried beef the oth JUDGE'S FAVORITE ROSE COGHLAN, LEADING LADY IN JACK STRAW." day, and not ha Actress to her toes, ‘Thrills and laughter blend As we welcome Kos Jovial Rose, Old Friend! of no court plaster, he used # postage stamp instid, By gravy! it is about » T. Roosevelt was lookin’ into the Federal graft around parts, » is said to be a hired-girl fan vy! it seems like pretty near th n starvin’ their hired girls. Uncle Ezra Harkins's whiskers catched fire while he was hoein’ beans one day last Wide Awake Hose Company had the fire under control in less than an hour, Uncle Ezra didn’t know he was afire for about an hour and a half. He said he pmethin’, but thought: somebody's chimney was on fire and didn’t pay much attention to it. No in- surance, Hank Tumms says though he had # pavin’ brick inside of him. It is thought Hank pepsia of the ste should step eatin’ meals which is so square that he can feel the corners of them three or four days afterwar Old sion ain't cam says he supposes it was delayed on account of Ro- senfelt skylarkin’ around Oyster Bay, Old ¢ favor of a President who stays to hum and tends to nin New York, limit when folks 'y time he eats a square meal he feels as i" us indys- nach, and p Whipple's pen- yet, and he pis in He returned from New York without buyin’ a gold brick. Must be the slickers down to New York is losin’ their cunnin’ at this writin’. Deacon has bought enough bricks in his time to build a schoolhouse. Eddication is a great thing. Abner Hanks, who was centre rush on a college football team four years, has been able to land a lucra- tive position rasslin’ trunks for the railrud which runs through our midst. He kin grab a trunk off’n the truck and slam it into the baggage car in less time than a spring lamb can switch its narrative, which is goin’ some. Hi Huggins is practicin’ up on his animal imitations, and ex pects to get a job with Hammerstein as tenor singer soon, He can imitate a monkey house quite accurate. MOY K, MOULTON, ER GIRL vot falls in love mit herselfs vill find herselfs alone mit her sveetheardt forever afd. DO YOU BELIEVE IN SIGNS? IN THE GLORIOUS PAST. THUSELAH was in his th year. He Iaid down the Farm and Home containing the patent-medicine ads. he had been reading. ‘* Oh, wasted youth!” he sighed. “If Thad by n more if I had sought out other cut out booze, I nd the might” . He did not finish the ing for year his hymn-book, | nestly to setto voi ing, in his fal 1 not A ive EDITORIAL SLIP. Member of the W.C. TU. Did you write this notice of n Demon Rum: ture business. Mrs. Anson Judson, leader of our smart s . has got a new iron dog in her front yard, which is so true to life that Constable Ezra Hand tried to run it in for not havi tag, but couldn't lift it into his wagon, Hank Tumms's wife has secured the washin's of nine families, and Hank says his wife is a brilliant Hank never loafs unless he is alone or with no license » pile lows of the Hard) Shell ehurch, is in his right mind “Tk ow; but he's a hard worker,”* GIVE HIM CREDIT. re you applauding for? He hasn't said anything worth while. liter am.” Member of the WoC. TUL Then Lwould like to know what mean by saying, ‘The lecturer erp ren ntly full of her \ Ly HIS CARD. Cannibal qu “* What is this bit of paste- ‘ked Rev. Elihu rd rdshell? Cannibal king ** That is today’s menu card."" EXPLAINED. sh “ How make a Maltese cross? re He—* By pulling his tail.” comicbooks.com