Judge — August 15, 1908 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

HAVE STOLEN IT. st th ed weapon MUST prise 1 found this tying a nook on his person USUAL TESTIMONIAL. 6CAAR. GRUMBLEY writes, ‘1 M can have nerve to sell your worthless remedy for fifty cents a bottle. “Ob, indeed! Well, strike out ‘hav and ‘worthless,’ and put the letter in our testi- don't see how you nerve to, monials."" HARD TO TELL. “Is Blinks dead? 1h Murvayhilt n't seen him for weeks. Westend Ci suffragette, you kr He n't say, my boy. married a that the interests intend to form a pool is announced vai power MEAN INTO A FAMILY h me to my ancestral hy ble, count! Peannot el WHEN THE SCORCHER DIED. a terrifying “Honk, honk!” and prepared to drive HE SCORCHER gay ; I through the Jasper but just then the barrier fell, and hy barely saved himself from smashing into it by throwing on the safety clutch. “Here What's this “You can’t "said St. P “I'd like to know why ‘orcher. to getting everything I want. I won't stand for it" “There's nothing doing, bo!’’ said St. Peter.‘ We'r citizens up here, and there's an anti-automobile ordinance tacked on to our city charter, If you come in here you must leave that snort-wagon outside The scorcher was true to his creed, “If Lean’t have my machine in Heaven,” said indignantly, “I won't go in there!”” “ Very well,” said St. indifferently. you to do- take your machine and go to Hell. He gave the scorcher a road map, showing the way down. Thanking him with the courtesy which characterizes automobilists in general, the scorcher turned down the Broad Way. “At least,”” he thought, “they ought to have a corking cinder path down there." And at the thought he threw over the High and was soon lost in a cloud of stardust. Charon scratched his h still upon the Ferry. he demanded. that thing in h er firmly. * fumed th ** Down on earth I've been used a peaceful set of “Then there's only one thing for and looked doubtful as the scorcher whizzed toa But the silent old ferryman said nothing and rowed on Where's tl landing. Charon stroked his be * Ask the Boss," he said, The scorcher knock- ed. The Devil apy peeped through the wicket Sp way?" demanded the scorcher, as they approached the into the water. pointing toward the red-hot gates. d and s ve a yell of terror, “Throw that ma- into the Styx!"" he You can't bring { _ \ The poor scorcher looked utterly dejected. ( and chine it in he * And I thought it would < » such a hit in this aid hits arth il the Devil cutting ly. OF it would be a star addition to my list de a course I knoe: EXPLANATION E <TRAORDINARY, tf ther balloon * for his hat? Mite— Pat— Phat’s that mon doin’ 0 Yer dom fule, de yez see he's reach I has a little Honestly, 1 wouldn't have the heart to sp on my subjects. Besides, Hell is getting tation as a smelly place, and I've simply got to di 1 mewhere. Throw that thing into th clear out!’ and the Devil banged the compassion, ng that thing, n awful re w the tyx or else t shut. Thi scorcher turned his beloved Juggernaut around. “Ferry me back !"" he said to Charon. “I'll sy the rest of eternity in Yuma, I know it’s worse t Hell, but I'd rather be there with my machine than in Heaven or Hades without it. And all Hell breathed a sigh of relief when he went. PREE? hy!