Judge — August 15, 1908 — page 3: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

A MUSICAL EDUCATION IN A NUTSHELL, HERE years writer upon musical topic Serman periodical who gave cleverly comprehensive method, by which the musically unedu- cated should be able to detect whether or not the composition to which they were listening should rank as a masterpiece. “If the music goes 1+ hop-hop, oF 1-2-3-boom-boom- boom,” said he, “you may de- pend upon it that you arc listen- ing to unmitigated rubbish. But you hear musie that sounds number of well-arranged stuck into a barrel, ally stirred about *, then you may assume into an that was, some hop- like @ sort of harmonious oatm that it is a fugue, once compose your featur ion of profound satisfaction, If, later on, you fan on the floor, and from time to time assert- ex, the notes are dro} ing themselves again in a quiet, dreamy sort of way, then the piece is probably a nocturne; and nocturnes, as you are yp ply aware, are very high-class music indeed. When the 1 and each truck contains a dif eded it, and when th th of time em to arrive in truck-load: sort from the one that » puss a terpivce ix doubtless ye and th tion yet produced by the maste if the note been tumbled down helter- Lup into a heap, and blown into the , that is nd the rhapsody ular variety of good music extant.” 88 lived too soon to continue and add to his formulae the further assertion that if the notes bring to you that feeling of lassitude which conjures up vi 1 broiled lobsters and the odor of gasoline and talcum powder in eq) tions, you will instantly recognize it as the compositic famous and popular composer, Herr Broadway, of York. JUS. KENDRICK HANGS. iven point, nun symphe of musi ‘atest musical ere ly, when it seem ter, then v lyn » whol usly shov trid rhapsody ; tp + doubth m ‘The writer of the 1s of cd al propo of that KERN, ERN? Who's Kern, That called the turn And out? Great Don’t you know Kern, The Tomtaggart Talker, Glad-hand Man, he Wabash Wonder Of Inje-an? The Hoosier Mixer, ‘The Handy On arty Wants him to run? Doubleyou K Look at his whiskers. Don't they p! Ky gum! He's roi He An Has Like W. J.B That's Kerr And after November There won't be much of him left To remember. wos ba running: record IrrON. CAPTAIN WATERWAGON'S VOW. CT I. Scene 1—Happy days on the old ere, Lean never marry you." Scen the village green, Arrival of the r life, to death, you only, Gwendolyn, will I love.”” night) The old mill,“ Sign. these “ Never abduction and flight to the city. A p: Capt wagon’s vow. Act IL. S rm. ** Reginald de 2 (evening) —Dance on r. ‘* Through Scene 3 (mid- The in Water- al offi papers nts grief. : 1—Interior of the counterfeiter’s den, The raid, The leap from the eighteenth-story window into the river. $ Picked up and sd to sea. The shipwreck. The answered praye jor of the submarine, De Vere among the You must marry me!"? Visit to the Marooned on the island, ‘The daily prayer. Dis- nibals. covery of the treasure. Attacked by ¢ Lucky appear- ance 1-‘The prayer answered. The «: the submarine, De AIL hope lost. arks, ‘The sole ton the gas- Attacked by a “Oh, Captain Waterwagon, survivor. ays. sword-fish, The 4 Down ug punctured. down, fty fathoms under water) Meeting of the de Ver submarines, De Vere recognized, hy end has come, Battle of thy Death of villa A lady's handkereh for the li Another elv submari Seen cHE pn, a Sk, und, ** Does she breathe in Waterwayon’s vow, ene tt (sameas Act 1 dune) The mortyaye due, * Where Ss: is my litt Seene 4 the door. The story. she's yours, Captain Water- wagon.”” (Curtain) PAID IN FULL, comicbooks.com