Judge — July 11, 1908 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Heater HIS PLACE ON THE SCHEDULE. PRINGFIELD tells the fol- lowing good story on himself: “Toll-bridges and toll- gates are get- ting to be somewhat scarce in New Eng- land, but once in a while { run across one of them even yet, like @ spider in its web, lying in wait ' for the unwary trav- eler. “One day, when exploring new terri- tory—or new to me, ¥ at least—up along Motoris the car hurt you?” ; Victim s; hurta me vera mooch.” the Connecticut Riv- Then why do you laugh er, Lame to an an- You hitta ma funny bon FAVORITE, cient toll-bridge, and EY IN “NEARLY A HERO." found my way barred what I'll do—I'm tired of hearin’ you gruntin’ around, so give me a I shouldn't mind the city's heat, by a gate-house and cent and I'll pass you over as a swine and take the chances on bein’ The sun’s fierce daytime fling, ieht" If 1 but had a season seat a toll-gatherer. right. And nightly heard you sing. “It rather “AS SHE IS SPOKE.” lean darky single-flat-footed into the office of the naval in this fashion, and I told the keeper (a shrewd-looking, middle-aged A recruiting station at Cleveland the other day. He said he +) that I supposed toll-bridges had been abolished long ago. wanted to enlist, Well, they hain't abolished this one yet,’ he retorted dryly. “Where have you been working?" inquired the officer in Three cents, please!" *** Do you mean to say you expect me to pay three "* he replied, of walking across this old Can you row?" asked the officer, I demanded. just for the sake of getting at the ma tainly, There's the schedule juatic work, of charges for crossin’: in I row?" the applicant repeated ’ “+ Persons on foot, thre in a surprised tone. ‘No, cap; I can't Horses and cattle, two ce ti it.” + Swine and sheep, one cent en at! do you mean to say you've “T ought to have known enough to been working on the river and can't even pay the three cents and travel on about my row a boat? You'd be a great man in the business, but I kept on growling and find- ! ing fault, until finally the gate-keeper A light broke into the eyes of the said dark applicant. here, mister! I didn’t: build “Oh!” he exclaimed, ** You mean, this bridge n’r make the schedule of NOT LIKELY. kin I row aboat. 1 thought you meant charges for crossin’ it, but I’Il tell you “Say, Smues, do those collars come in my si could I ro‘h like a lion.” TO A MOSQUITO ON THE END OF MY NOSE. A PROTEST. OWDY, Mr. Skeeter! H Hope I don’t intrude, Hate to stop a feller At his daily food. But I'd like to warn you That you'd best beware; | What you're eating isn't \ On the bill-of-fare. > And if you'll excuse me, | I would like to say, That my nasal feature Isn'ta café MORACK DODD GASTIT. MUSIC HATH CHARMS. Wherever L wandered, father, there was one song | used to hear Yhat always made me think ve Home, Sweet Home 2 . ca A tsel to hea a san while you wag away thet used 10 make me think o” you, son. It was, “If comicbooks.com