Judge, 1908-06-20 · page 16 of 28
Judge — June 20, 1908 — page 16: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains several satirical pieces typical of early 20th-century Judge magazine: **"A Warning to Grandmothers"** mocks the era's obsession with baseball (specifically the New York Giants at the Polo Grounds), suggesting that fans' enthusiasm for the sport is so consuming that relatives—particularly grandmothers—will literally die from neglect while everyone attends games. **"Over the Phone"** satirizes the awkwardness of early telephone communication and class consciousness: a man calls a wrong number and argues with the woman who answers; she's offended by his rudeness, then reveals she's Mrs. George Banks, wife of a telephone company stockholder—turning the tables on his presumption. **"In the Enemy's Guise"** shows a horse disguised as an automobile, joking about labor displacement as mechanical vehicles replace horse-drawn transport. **"Judge's Up-to-Date Ads"** parodies patent medicine-style advertisements, here promoting a "Corn-Guard Shoe" with absurdist humor. **"A Discreet Policeman"** features Irish dialect humor about a policeman's discretion in ignoring a street fight. The humor relies on period-specific references (Giants baseball, early telephones, class hierarchies) largely unfamiliar to modern readers.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
A WARNING TO GRANDMOTHERS. OORAY! They're off! The umpire shouts His strénuous ‘* Play ball!"” BL And joy pervades the rooter’s breast To hear the welcome call. What care we now for stocks and bonds, For Wall Street or Broadway? We hie us to the Polo Grounds To see the Giants play. Oh, happy day! Oh, happy fan! Restrain your antics glad; For suddenly there comes a thought ‘That leaves us cold and sad, Alas! each pleasure has its pain And every joy a sigh Just think of all the relatives ¢ doomed to die! an office boy, four away; erking murdered three (To see the Giants play). And now the fatal season’s here; Ring out the warning ery To grandmammas o'er all the land— “Prepare yourselves to die!"’ 0. W. OVER THE ‘PHONE. DS ee hello ! {who is this, please?” the man at the "phone impatiently hurled at the mouthpiece. “This is— Whom did you want?” came back a feminine voice. “‘Tcalled for number— Confound it, I’ve forgotten the number now! Who is this, anyway?” I think you might be a little more polite in your manner toward a lady. You've doubtless got the wrong number."” “How can I tell whether I’ve got the right or wrong number if you won't tell me who you are? Some women make me tired!" “ You're a gentleman!” “You're a lady !"" “You're positively insulting. I‘ Back up! Who are you, anyway , I'll tell you who Iam, I'm the wife of the biggest stock- holder in this telephone company. I am Mrs. George Banks, that’s who Iam, si “Great Scott, Mary! I’ve been trying to get you. This is George, your husband !"" GOOD FRIDAY. HE HAS NOTICED. “cc Toc is one notable thing I have observed,"’ said the foreign le rd e e the luxuri IN ‘THE ENEMY’S GUISE. lecturer, Your American women have the most luxuriant Jood gracious, Dobbin, what's a h-h-h, don't give me away! I'm looking for a job disguised as an automobile. hair of any wome JUDGE'S UP-TO-DATE ADS. HE! _Limping Ones of Bunion-Town! This ad. is meant for YOU! Our Iron-frame (unlimited) Perfection CORN-GUARD SHOE Is built for your necessities, and like- wise built to last / One pair, we guarantee, ‘I suffice a dim, far-reaching past. But if that day should ever come when it appears outworn, Placed on a pole, ‘twill “shoo!” the crows, and guard your growing corn, 'AVING a toad on his mind shouldn't distress a man, if it isn’t all junk. A DISCREET POLICEMAN. nd old man Riley are haying th’ divil av a scrap just around the corner. comicbooks.com