Judge, 1908-06-13 · page 6 of 16
Judge — June 13, 1908 — page 6: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains multiple satirical pieces targeting American social and political figures of the era. **"The Philanthropist"** mocks wealthy philanthropists through a grammar lesson where a student defines "philanthropist" as someone who "gave" to a servant—satirizing the performative charity of the rich. **"A Spring Song"** appears to parody aspirational daydreams, referencing real figures like Teddy Roosevelt, William Randolph Hearst, and others. The framing note mentions it's "written by an inmate of Matteawan"—a state psychiatric hospital—suggesting the fantasies are products of mental illness, darkly comedic commentary on American aspiration. **"All About Her"** and **"An Explanation"** are brief joke pieces about a woman in an asylum and a police court case involving assault. The overall tone is typical Judge magazine fare: punching down at the mentally ill, the poor, and lower classes while simultaneously mocking wealthy philanthropists and society figures. The humor relies on class-based stereotypes and institutional settings as inherently comic.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Old back—" James, take off this record and put in the ‘Where was you last night; it was one o'clock before you got home—one." "* F Tam proud 1 When I have The sort of pi Ly T If I should ¢ In some unple Oh, ma TT Were I to sta For golde told Philander knox! 1 SAW THE LOVELIEST HA \AND ONLY BEO. A SPRING SONG. Written by an inmate of Matteawan after readi 'd like to feel, iT "Who'e Who." On Sundays when I go to church— I must admit they're few Shall [ be welcomed gladly in Some Chauncey empty pe pt I'd like to have famous builder build her, ng her to New York and let t Richard Watson gild her. ‘eddy Roo: ver find my: nt box, * the kind of blow art a poultry yi If I'd enjoy a music feast In some far realm of pea And listen till I'm deaf, eges Ve il Oh, Jet me have it well pi w Carne gg ly The Andr If L must liv Oh, let m Must it be Ne At Willia Or will it be My credit By di ppearing in some hid- Henry Cabot lodge? I'd wash it down with soothing draughts know the lew Rochelle m Randolphurst? An Oscar Hammerstein, in some deep wood ors I'll dodge, And then to heaven I would fly; For grander op Not c i Ot all Thi Aste A joke you cannot human aspects, nothing half so queer ca fellow telli fellows getting A point you car — ( 7 Topay \ AT BLANKS. 17 WAS SIMPLY A DREAM 2 RETOLD. ITTLE drops of water, Little lack of sand, Make the frenzied panic And the wiser land. THE PHILANTHROPIST. T" juvenile grammar class was wres- “A phi it a beau- » ¥Y jan- Now, then,’’ continued tl “we have before us a posit embracing a subject, a predicate and an object—do you understand?” “* Yes-sum,"’ chorused the class. “Very well, you shall have a test. Come, Thomas; what is the subject?"” Cottage " (doubtingly). “Why, no, child! Philanthropist.” “Onl” ** And the predicate, William?” “* Servant "* (confidently). ‘Mercy, no! Gave is the predicate; but what is the object, Casey?"" Silence, ** Come, come! It's quite apparent!" “TT guess he was stuck on her," ven- tured the lad. ALL ABOUT HER. Winkle—* See that little woma n black over there? I'll bet there are more men crazy about that woman than any woman in town, Hinkle—"* What makes you think so?" Winkle Well, she's the matron out at the insane asylum, AN EXPLANATION. Jac this affair looks to me more lil mmon dog fight than a case It and battery. You claim this man as- saulted you, and that you did not even try to 1 yourself; yet he bears the marks of your h in seventeen places. Police justice ac of ass: How do you account dackseon—** Well, bo: it was jest like dis. He hurt me so when he was a-poundin’ of me, dat I had ter have sumthin’ ter bite on, or I couldn't ‘a’ stood it."” 66 NO.” said the eminent scientist, “1 have never seen a Plymouth Rock hen lay a corner-stone, but I have frequently seen a pine- apple layer cake.” comicbooks.com